urbanlifeonline.com

It's here! Check it out: www.urbanlifeonline.com

UrbanLife in September

Several of you have pointed out that this blog is out-of-date! It's easy to miss the tech-wave and find yourself soaked in the sand and washed up on the beach. I'm using a surfing image because that's what life is sometimes like--you ride the wave the best you can and then swim back out and wait for the next wave. I've been working on the urbanlife website the past month and have found myself more washed out than riding high. I never realized how fast or much technology has passed me by! So what might take some just a few days to complete has taken me, well, over a month. (Hold your applause please!)
Things move at a different pace in the church for lots of reasons, oftentimes bound by resources of time and money. I was reminded yesterday by the good saint Rev. Wally Chappell that we are only 80 generations away from Jesus and look how far the church has, and has not, come. (I'm guessing he is defining a generation as 25 years). Hopefully within this generation I can get this website going.
The site should launch this week but there are still some technical glitches that have to be worked through...but at least we are going live. I'm excited by the opportunities the website will give us for ongoing communication and interaction.
Until then, don't forget that UrbanLife meets on Sunday mornings at 9:45 am in our new location--the 2nd floor of 1925 San Jacinto. When the website is live (probably by this weekend) you can see more of our events and activities -- www.urbanlifeonline.com

UrbanLife in July

(Reminder: Kathryn's personal blog has moved: www.nowyouarehere.blogspot.com)

Join UrbanLife for one of these events in July!

Sunday, July 13th, 9:45, Dickerson Chapel
topic: Sue Keever, "I Know This Much is True" (the 10 life lessons Sue has learned, along with discussion from the class about what we know to be true)

lunch: 12:15 Lunch at Strongs Everyday Tavern
2816 Fairmont (uptown)

Sunday, July 27th, 9:45, Dickerson Chapel
topic: Victor Vines, M.D. "Stem CellsDon't Leave Home Without Them"
lunch: 12:15 Lunch at Chip's Old Fashioned Hamburgers
4501 Cole Ave.

RSVP for lunch to ryan.fiedler.jones@gmail.com

Oops -- Gave you the wrong address for my new blog

Blame it on sleep deprivation...my new blog is at www.nowyouarehere.blogspot.com

My blog is moving!

Hello Blog World...I've created a new blog called, "You Were There and Now You are Here." This blog will be my place to write about life and give updates of our amazing little man! It will be more personal, so to speak. This blog will remain active. It will be incorporated into the new UrbanLife website which is under construction. This blog will become more focused on UrbanLife and include weekly devotionals that I will be writing.

So go to my new blog and check it out...(still under development)...
www.nowyouarethere.blogspot.com

For those of you who are subscribers to my blog, you can enter your email address and subscribe to the new blog also. I know you won't want to miss a picture of the little man!

My first post on this new blog is all about this week...which is my return-to-work week.

Ethan's first church service

I'm not sure where the time has gone since my last blog post on May 29th except that my time has been with Ethan. We have been venturing out this June...going on walks with our friend Joe (who is moving to Austin...born 3 weeks after Ethan), making our first outing to First Church (to celebrate Wendy's birthday), getting Ethan's first vaccinations (the toughest scream to hear), and mall-walking at NorthPark. We attended church today at Grace United Methodist Church in East Dallas. It was Rev. Dr. Diana Holbert's first Sunday as senior pastor. It was Ethan's first church service, and, he received a blessing at the rail during communion. It's strange--the words to the hymns hit me on a whole new level now.

Ethan Ross First Days

Troy made this great video of fun times from the first 6 weeks of Ethan's life!

Mission trips and Motherhood

Ethan and I went to Target today.  It wasn't a trip of necessity for commodities; it was more a necessity to see other living human beings in this world and just to see if I could accomplish what used to be a mindless task and now is a master skill.

After getting Ethan ready, I dashed in the bathroom, threw my hair in a ponytail, painted on a fresh coat of deodorant and changed my shirt to a less dirty shirt.  And we were out the door.  I felt such a high feeling of accomplishment driving to the store.  I made it into the car with Ethan--he wasn't even crying.  And I didn't smell too bad and only had two stains on my pants and one on my shirt.  

Something about the way my body smelled and felt seemed very similar to another time in life...and that's when it hit me:  the smell and look of early motherhood is very similar to the smell and look of mission trips.  If you have ever been on a mission trip, you know the feeling--you haven't showered in 2 days, you've slept on a sleeping bag on a gym floor with 40 other people of which 25% snore, you're wearing the same pair of jeans from yesterday and the definition of a shower is a fresh coat of deodorant.  And you know what, it's all okay to smell and look like that when you are on a mission trip.  And what I've learned is that it's all okay to smell and look like this when you have a 5-week-old-little boy.  

So maybe I'm not out building a house or repairing a roof or teaching the Bible to children in rural villages--but I still have a big mission and at this point, it's about perseverance and faith that the little acts of love I do today (while being a little smelly) will make a big difference in Ethan's tomorrow.   

Ethan and Sarah

This is just too good not to share...Sarah trying her best to get as close as she can to Ethan while he is playing on his baby gym. So what you are seeing is Ethan lying on his back on the play mat and Sarah inching up to him putting her head on his tummy.

Ethan visits his first restaurant

Ethan visted his first fancy restaurant on Sunday, May 21. We joined UrbanLife for a special summer Sunday brunch at Hector's on Henderson. Pictured in this photo are Hector Garcia, owner, and Blythe Beck, executive chef. The menu was fantastic...Ethan did not get to try the watermelon martinis, though! If you have not tried this fabulous restaurant, then do so soon! You are in for an amazing culinary experience with food that is out of this world. I would describe it as upscale meets soul.

The Many Faces of Ethan

I'm working hard to get THE birth announcement photo so when Ethan is having a good minute, I play photographer. This was my latest attempt, a series that Troy titled "The Many Faces of Ethan." I'm still on the quest for the photo for the birth announcement...and until I get there, I'm having fun trying.

Enough is Enough...

  Did you ever wonder if newborns get fed-up with new parents bumblings?   Charlie Brown often utters the catch phrase "GOOD GRIEF!", Ethan seems to be having one of those moments... 

Celebrate Cinco De Mayo with this Free Chickenstrips offer from Papa John's

Our last blog entry date has a lot to do with the headline above: both our lives and this offer from Papa John's is a little crazy. First of all, Papa Johns--who would have thought to put Cinco de Mayo together with Chickenstrips and pizza? My guess is that those who really DO celebrate Cindo de Mayo didn't wake up this morning saying to themselves, "If ONLY I could have some chickenstrips and pizza today in celebration of Cinco de Mayo."

On to us--so our last blog entry was April 26--the day the blogging stopped is the day that life began to find its new normal. The following week Troy returned to work full-time and I became a full-time nurterer and feeder of Ethan. Full-time mom. Sleepless nights. Long days at work for Troy. 7 pm bedtime for both of us to help off-set the middle-of-the-night-Ethan-wakefest.

Three things have been constant and faithful companions for me the past week: the indie movie "Once" (A modern-day musical about a busker and an immigrant and their eventful week in Dublin, as they write, rehearse and record songs that tell their love story); the book "Babywise"--we will get Ethan's days and nights straight; and, surprisingly, Eckhart Tolle's book "A Whole New Earth," specifically his chapter on the roles we play in life. If you have ever felt stuck in your "roles," or, if you have had difficulty in adult-parent/adult-child or parent-child relationships, this chapter is a MUST READ.

So that's our life for now...will blog when I get a chance but time is a precious commodity around here these days.

The pictures above -- our family picture on May 2. The other picture is of Ethan and my aunt Rosemary. She has been a huge help to me in caring for Ethan.

A father and a son through a mother's eyes

Twas the night before my due date

And all is fairly quiet in the house

'Cause I came 10 days early

And mostly, I'm quiet as a mouse!

Good night to all!  Love, Ethan

Hows Sarah?

Several of our friends have asked how Sarah is doing with the new baby... Well, she is just as sweet and gentle as ever. In many cases a picture really is worth a thousand words.

I yam what I yam!

Okay, is it me or does Ethan look a little like Popeye here? (Perhaps Churchill?) Just an observation...  In case you were wondering we here at the Ransdell house are HUGE fans of both Popeye and the former Prime Minister. (thanks for the pic Jim)

Tip-Toes!

Okay, had to throw in a shameless plug for all the Aggies out there! Gig’em! Note the extreme close-up of his toes... Wrinkly! Looks like he has Sasquatch feet.

The Ethan Channel

After a few very busy days we are home and settled in. Its nice to have some time to get to know each other. We’ve developed a loose pattern and schedule to our lives. Its called the Ethan channel, all Ethan 24/7! Ethan in the morning, at noon and night too, we’re loving it! He needs us all the time and as it turns out we need him too! We had a particularly fun and busy day today. Visited the pediatrician and he was none to happy about it. We also had some tummy time with a ride on the belly board! We are well and everyone is healthy but a little tired... but who has time for sleep when you have the Ethan channel! Sweet...

Big eyes!

Ethan had some time with his new Aunt, my Sister Tracey. Both were all eyes! Ethan seems a bit concerned... HA!

Friday night reflection from Kathryn

Ethan just left for his first Friday night slumber party in the nursery.  (Pictured at top is "us" taken tonight by my parents who are now in town to meet their grandson and help us.)  We are taking advantage of our extra, and final, night in the hospital by allowing the nursery staff to care for him while we sleep.  So here's what I want to talk about--this experience of natural childbirth.  Natural childbirth is not for everyone; but it was for me.

The past 9 months have been a dance of conversations as people discovered our choice for the birth of this baby--to use a midwife as our main medical caregiver and strive for natural childbirth.  I learned early on that the adjective "natural" to describe childbirth is defined by the person using the term.  For us it meant that we wanted the least medical intervention possible during the birthing process AND we wanted medical interventional available at moment's notice if needed.  That's what led us to Women's Health Alliance at Baylor Hospital and ultimately to our midwife, Lindsey Stephens. (Lindsey is pictured above holding Ethan about 5 hours after he was born.) 

Troy did an incredible job blogging our 24-hour labor experience and the blog is not complete without discussion of Lindsey and the two nurses who helped us, Becky and Jenni.  Our office visits with Lindsey instilled great confidence in her medical intelligence and insight.  Pregnancy care is an art and a science and she combined the two beautifully as we progressed through the months and then faced this past month of changing conditions.  

But at the birth, all 24 hours of it, Lindsey showed us the art of delivery.  She gave us the space to create the experience we wanted, and, like a master artist, she took the brush when needed and painted the strokes that helped me, Troy, and most importantly, Ethan, come to life in the crucible of childbirth.

There were some tense moments in the context of those 24 hours and Lindsey coached us and sympathized with us.  And there were some damn funny moments too.  I never expected to laugh myself silly with my midwife, my nurse and my husband when all 4 of us were amazed by the "river."

Lindsey is an amazing caregiver and she is fulfilling her calling that is grounded in science and guided by the Spirit.  As I said earlier, natural childbirth is not for everyone.  It takes a strong desire to want the outcome and it takes 9 months of mental, physical and spiritual preparation.  And, natural childbirth takes a medical professional like Lindsey who has the depth in her soul to bring two people like us through the night.  And, natural childbrith takes incredible nurses who don't have to be committed to my outcome, but still chose to be, and they also carried us through the night and into the light of the morning to welcome our beautiful baby.

I also want to thank all the people who hung on with us through the night, read Troy's posts, kept us in prayer, and left comments.  When the going was tough, Troy shared with me someone's words of encouragement.  Those words helped me to remember that there was a world outside the delivery room, and, this was 24 hours that would pass...eventually.  We never imagined how powerful a role this blog would play in the birth of our child.  Thank you.  

It's strange to think that we go home tomorrow.  Ethan will meet his dog--Sarah--and explore his "oriental" bedroom.  I feel so blessed by the support of my husband, Troy, who hung in there with me and has been AMAZING these past 3 days (and the months before).  We are a family and my heart could not be more full with the love of these two guys in my life. 

I felt the ancestors gather round the night I gave birth.  I have felt the love of my friends and family in the days since.  And now I'm ready to take the next step living in the abundance of love that this little on has brought into our lives.  Good night. 

  

Sound Check!

Testing, Testing, 123! All clear... check! Little Ethan passed and received his first official certificate of completion; his hearing is 100%. He kinda looks like a little rocker! Or perhaps a sound check for the next Idol? Ethan has had a very busy day and is a bit tired. Circumcision went fine, he had several shots and a sound check. Not bad for less than 48 hours old. Kathryn is well also, still very tired through. She's now resting and we've opened the window blinds to let this beautiful blue sky into our room.

A New Pacy!

Ethan Ross has now discovered an entirely new level of nirvana. Satisfaction levels topped the charts this morning after the introduction of his first pacifier. Much cooing, sleep, and happiness ensued. This is all well and necessary as later today is the circumcision! Also notice that Ethan loves to kick out his legs. The boy has a serious kick reflex. Future runner? Kathryn is well but very tired. She's had about 4 hours of sleep in the past 32 hours. She's up and walking but a little sore. I'm quite tired too. It looks like we'll be discharged today in the afternoon sometime. Onward...

A few pictures & comments

We are just now getting ourselves back together. Ethan and Kathryn have rested and benefited from some well-deserved sleep and food. Ethan is a quiet content baby that loves to kick his long legs and inspect his new world with his dark brown eyes. We have received so many wonderful comments and words of encouragement from our friends and family. We are grateful that our child has so many fans cheering his entrance into this world.

God has given us a small gift!

The most amazing beautiful thing just happened! I would like to introduce to the world Ethan Ross Ransdell! My new son! He is perfectly healthy and Kathryn is healthy too… I’m at a loss for words… Ethan is 6lbs 15oz and a remarkable 21 inches long!... Born exactly at 7:15am. Natural birth... More later, I can hardly type.

A different feeling?

Kathryn just asked our Mid-wife to check her because she is feeling a different kind of contraction... she feels the need to "push". We'll see what the Mid-wife says.

New Direction

After many hours of serious labor and no change in dilated width beyond 5 cm. The decision has been made to introduce another drug to help make progress. Kathryn is dealing with contractions amazingly. Not a word… just heavy breathing! A few jokes now and then... Kathryn made the comparison that the labor room was just about the same size as our condo! Ohh Snap! On a different side note, they are getting our baby stuff ready (baby foot print sheet, etc.) Fun!

Heel Magic

Wise words from a comment posted today! Pressing the heel of your palm into the lower back works MAGIC! According to Kathryn this helps more than just about anything else. Amazing... Contractions lasting longer now! 

A New Chapter

Contractions have become intense pressures and smiles are a distant memory of happier times early today. It’s the middle of the night and lack of sleep is becoming an issue. Suggestions of dozing between contractions carry weight. Moments ago we were walking the halls and stopping occasionally for the random contraction. Kathryn’s analogy is that of running a marathon. We discussed the point in a long race when you are positive that you are approaching mile marker 20, only to realize mile 14 is just ahead. Bummer. Contractions are now sharply more intense but she’s dilated no further. Kathryn is dozing as I post this. Lights are low and the corridors are quiet. Our Mid-wife has suggested that progress needs to be made in the next hour or other drugs should be put on the table for discussion.

Ride those waves!

Well, after a brief nap we are awake again. We are pleased to announce larger contraction waves have begun… still smiles! Kathryn visions herself as riding a small single person rowboat in large ocean swells. Paddling up the wave and slowing herself down on the other side. Let the Pirate jokes begin! Also, much excitement that Kathryn is now a full five cm dilated, 10 cm being the magic number. High fives all around the room. (pain levels at 4.5 on 10 scale). 

Its a GUSHER!

As it turns out Kathryn’s water didn’t break earlier today! I can assure you that her water is NOW FULLY BROKEN! Our Mid-Wife and Nurse both said this was the single largest volume of fluid they have ever seen!  The entire time Kathryn was laughing hysterically and soon the entire room was rolling with laughter! We are good, the baby is good, the nurses are recovering and all is well at the moment. Onward!!!

Time... Its relative

Okay, I would like to make one quick point in response to a few questions. When you are scheduled to be induced our Dr told us it’s a much longer labor in the hospital than normal. This is because the time you would have spent at home in early labor now happens at the hospital so you can be “monitored” for safety. More safety is always better, until they tell you about how long it takes. The bottom line is this: We are expecting to be here for 24 hours… in labor. Kathryn was induced at 7:30 this morning and the Dr thinks we might expect the baby tomorrow morning. The response we are getting from the blog is amazing. A HUGE thanks to all Kathryn’s virtual labor coaches. I read all the responses to her and she smiles with great satisfaction!

I confess

Hello, My name is Kathryn and I'm an email-olic. In my most recent binge I "needed" to send out a bunch of emails while I was in labor with my first child... I'm slipping into a shame spiral!   All is well here. The baby has dropped even more and contractions now cross her entire belly. Still irregular in pain and frequency (pain at 2 on 10 scale). We are growing in our eagerness to see this baby!

Preggo Gourd

I just stepped out for a moment and wouldn’t you know it, I caught her blogging!!! Pay no attention to her previous post about husbands, she’s been huffing induction drugs and out of her belly gourd. Fear not parents, no neglect calls to Troy necessary. All care and attention have been towards Preggo, This guest host only steals away in those quick moments between contractions to blog our goings on. No news at this point. Although we did step outside and it seems an “Upper Level Low” is blowing in. Go figure...   

First hand account

This is from Kathryn -- Note to all the girls out there -- keeping a blog is a great way to keep your husband busy in these early times of labor.  Seriously, it's been fun hearing him compose his entries.  So, it's 2:20 pm and I'm about to get serious about resting before my 2:30 blood pressure check.  It's all about keeping the blood pressure low.  

Our friend and chaplain Alan Wright came by earlier and said a prayer with us.  And then I ran into my other preggo friend, Ryan, who is a resident here, while out on a walk about an hour ago.  Once I track down my friend who is in training for psychology, I will have a full deck--chaplain, doc, and psych!  Who can ask for anything more? 

Our midwife is doing a great job and it's been really positive having her be a part of this experience.

Okay...bye for now!

Update

News flash… Her water broke! That’s a great sign of progress. The baby's heart rate is good and Kathryn’s blood pressure is holding steady. The nurse asked and Kathryn rated her pain level at 2 of out 10, which is not bad at the moment. Contractions more of the same, irregular. Onward…

A quick stroll...

We just finished the first of what I’m sure will be many short walks around the L&D department. Contractions are about the same, minor and irregular. Kathryn seems to think things are changing as she’s feeling different. We received a visit from the Chaplain, which was very warm and kind. Kathryn was asked if she is in pain, she quipped, "I don't believe in pain." (A phrase that’s long been her marathon mantra. HA!) We await the visit and checkup from our Mid-wife. All is well!

Just a few...

Just a few minor contractions so far. “Infrequent and irregular”, so says the nurse. I suppose you know it’s a minor contraction when Kathryn opens her eyes and says with a big smile, “I just had a contraction”. We'll see how long that lasts. At least we know the induction starting to work. Okay, back to calmness and quite as we work on lowering the blood pressure. Cheers to all. Still waiting…

Working quietly

The induction medications have been administered! Kathryn was induced moments ago after a flurry of activity from the Mid-wife and nurse. The lights are now low and she is listening to the ipod. Every five minutes the blood pressure cuff inflates automatically but otherwise all is quiet. We now speak to each other in a whisper, the goal is calm and stillness. From here we are to wait about four hours in the hopes her body gets the signal and starts labor. If nothing has happened we might try another drug around noon. Thankfully its very quite out in the corridor. The nurses have just changed shifts and our new nurse smiles big and is kinda spunky. We like her already.

Labor day 1

Welcome thrill seekers! Today is Labor Day… as in “THE LABOR” day! Your special blogger host today will be the man behind the belly, T-Roy. We welcome you to our birthing experience and will post updates as often as we (I) can. We are all settled in and Kathryn is resting comfortably. We’ve not yet official induced yet. The induction drugs should begin in the next 30 minutes. Frozen fruit bars (check), Gatorade (check), favorite red pillow (check), labor bracelet (check), rose quartz from china (check)… All systems GO! Stay tuned for the next great adventures of Baby Ransdell and the Birth Saga!

Life changes quickly

So after my earlier post about waiting, I got a call at 5 pm saying my induction has been changed to TOMORROW! It's like the marathon date has been changed by one day. We are getting everything together and ready to go. Thanks for all the prayers from the blogworld and we will keep the blog updated as we are able.

Just waiting

Being told that you are going to be induced AND being placed on extreme bedrest is not the best combination for my "constitution." (I love this word "constitution" that my grandmother used to describe people's make-up.) I would rather be up doing something...cleaning, working, running errands, shopping...anything to get my mind off of how many days and hours are left until this starts. In some ways, knowing "when" this event will get kicked off is somewhat like having a marathon date. The days and hours leading up to a marathon are all a mental game as you taper your running and allow your body to rest before the event. You take those days and see yourself running, allow your body to imagine how good it will be to be in the run and to finish the run. It's mental preparation. I'm applying that same strategy to the birth. If this is my "taper down" time, then let's think forward to what this will be like. We expect the baby to be born on Friday. We will be posting updates to the blog as our hospital is "wireless."

It's almost time!

"The greatest work of art created first by god and then by man, is the creation of life.  The whole process is an amazing art in itself.  The fact that it takes two artists, man and woman, each bringing their own parts of a pallet to create a work of art that not only has a piece of both artists but is also a living, breathing, ever-changing, piece of art with an identity of it's own." -- Bethany Jane Andrews Hoey

This is the week.  After 38 weeks and one day, my body has said, "It's time to have this baby."  So my midwife and doctor will do some evaluation later today and then decide when and how I will have this baby this week.  And we're ready.  Clothes are washed.  Diapers unpacked.  Toys assembled.  Batteries installed.  Bags packed.  Thank you notes written....it will be an amazing experience.  How do you consider what life will be like when you are going through a change that is nothing like you've ever experienced up until this moment in life?  

We will keep you updated via the blog as best we can!

Year of the Rat

Baby Ransdell's days in the womb are numbered now that we have hit the magic 37 week mark. I hope he/she is as excited about this as me, my ankles and Troy are. The due date is April 27 but I'm predicting April 20 because it's the full moon and it's Passover.

Another new mommy in 2008 sent Baby Ransdell the cutest summer outfit. On the front is the Chinese symbol for Year of the Rat. On the back, is this description (above) of those born in the Year of the Rat. Can't wait to meet this person!

Google Ads

Once my blog passed the 10,000 "hits" mark, Troy suggested that we try Google Ads. I initially resisted because I'm more than 36 weeks pregnant and anything requiring extra effort is not on the plan these days AND I resisted because these randomly generated ads could pop-up just about anything and I would not want an innocent person to have to see an ad for "Stretchmark cream" or "New Body in 10 Days diet potion." But Troy persisted, so I told him that if he was willing to install it, then I would drop my resistance.
So GoogleAds, based on my blog content, "guesses" who might be reading my blog and then places ads they think those readers would want to see. I have to say, I'm a bit disappointed in myself....Apparently there is nothing about my blog except church because so far, all the ads are about churches. Where's the random ads? Am I not more diverse in my writings that all I talk about is church? Where's the information for yoga and ayurvedic? Where's the psychiatrist who wants to address my break-downs? Where's the ad for chocolate cake and cold milk? I need to diversify my life if all I generate is google ads about churches--and non-denominational churches that sound more like Frisco's old "saloons" (ex. Mustang Ranch in Forney, TX). And I apologize right now for any ad that pops-up with bad theology, especially end times and goofy stuff about how much Jesus loves you and if you've prayed "that prayer" lately.
So Google Ads is on a trial basis...enjoy!

It's April...so gamble everything for love

April has always been my favorite month. As a child, my birthday falling in April biased me. As a student, the ability to see the "light at the end of the tunnel" in April biased me. As a runner, the feel of a spring morning in April biased me. Now, as a mom-to-be, the possiblity of my child being born in April biases me towards this month.
So a big shout out to the month of April. Transitioning from winter to spring reminds me that the goodness in life is in the CHANGE...and so I give you one of my favorite Rumi poems as my April 1, No Fooling, gift to my blog readers....

“Half-Heartedness”
Gamble everything for love, if you are a true human
being.
If not, leave this gathering.

Half-heartedness does not
reach into majesty. You set out
to find God, but then you keep stopping
for long periods
at mean-spirited roadhouses.

Gamble everything
for love.

What's wrong with ketchup?

I've watched two different shows on the travel channel about destination "restaurants." One, a hot dog place in Chicago. The other, a hamburger place in Conneticut. Both places do not allow ketchup in the restaurant and consider it heresy to put ketchup on the hot dog or the burger. What's up with that? I think ketchup is a good thing and never knew that it was "suspect" among authentic burger and hot dog places.
Speaking of food, I've had some fun pregnancy dreams but there are none better than the dreams I've had about food. In the past 2 months, I've gone from hurling to hungry...and I will dream of food at night. The best dream was two nights ago...a huge piece of chocolate cake and a glass of ice cold milk. In the dream, I savored every bite. And when I woke up, I didn't have "chocolate cake" guilt. The best of both worlds!

Moments that are larger than you

I experienced one of those moments in life that felt larger than me today.  UrbanLife planted the Easter flowers at First Church -- our gift to the church.  Our efforts were directed pro-bono by Jackie Caswell, owner of Jackie Grows It.  Jackie donated her services in memory of her husband, Dr. Jim Caswell, who died last summer from cancer.  And everything about this event -- from how the idea originated, to the people who joined us, to the execution of the plan -- it all seemed so God inspired and Jim-directed (he was the v.p., so to speak, of organization and administration).  So if you get a chance, drive by Ross and Harwood and see our work.  I think there are angels standing all around those flower beds--that's how much larger today felt for me than just planting some flowers.  And I stood in the middle of it all watching God work.  

Checking in with the Blog World

I haven't updated my blog in about 2 weeks. It's been an interesting two weeks as we get closer to the big day...the day that life changes for the better. It's still strange thinking of myself as a parent. I'm not sure I'm mature enough for that one.
First, let me update you on UrbanLife. We are in a good place heading into my maternity leave...a solid core group that will be a good launching pad for growth in 2008-09. We finally got to a design for our website that works, so the techies are fast away building that. When our website is up and running, I will begin writing a separate blog for urbanlife that will be more daily devotional-based and this blog will become more of my personal blog. Don't worry--you can still read both.
UrbanLife will also have permanent space at First Church when I return from maternity leave. It only took a year--not bad in Methodist-time. We are moving into the 1st floor of the Oglesby building, which is the white building at the corner of San Jacinto and St. Paul that the church owns.
So all is good with UrbanLife and we will be fine while I'm learning to raise this little one. And, speaking of this little one, I'm showing signs of possible early labor so I'm on a modified work-rest plan until I reach 37 weeks (April 6). Not that far away and easily doable. Yesterday was my first day of this new work-rest plan and I felt much better at the end of the day than I have felt in a few weeks.

The slow work of God

Above all, trust in the slow work of God.
We are quite naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay.
We would like to skip the intermediate stages.
We are impatient of being on the way to something unknown, something new.And yet, it is the law of all progress that it is made by passing through some stages of instability - and that it may take a very long time.
And so I think it is with you;
your ideas mature gradually - let them grow,
let them shape themselves, without undue haste.
Don't try to force them on, as though you could be today what time, (that is to say, grace and circumstances acting on your own good will) will make of you tomorrow.
Only God could say what this new spirit gradually forming in you will be. Give our Lord the benefit of believing that his hand is leading you,and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete.
--by the Jesuit priest, Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, SJ

Just a fun day

Today has been a fun day after a good night's sleep following 2 days of not sleeping well at night due to heartburn-from-hell. And I needed today to be good--lots going on as I'm trying to wrap-up life (as much as you can do that) before the next chapter of our lives opens in less than 8 weeks!
I called Troy today to remind him that we really are having a baby -- that complete strangers comment that I look like I'm due anytime now. He always laughs when I have these reality check moments and call him to tell him that we are having a baby. When we first found out we were pregnant, it was so strange to say, "I'm having a baby." Then, in January, I had to make peace with the idea that, "I'm a mother." In February, I had to come to terms with, "I'm a parent." All these new vocabulary words that define my life...a great and beautiful time!

What do I really want?

I love when two things are pushed beside each other in such a way that one makes sense of the other when you look a layer deep than what is on the surface. That happened for me yesterday on Leap Day. I was driving to this small jewelry shop in East Dallas to sell some jewelry that was past its day. I turned on the radio, and a woman had just won tickets to a concert where she would sit in the front row AND have the opportunity to meet the band backstage. This woman was very excited and thrilled and screaming into her phone across the radio, "Oh my gosh, this is the best thing that's ever happened in my life....this is all I ever wanted...I've wanted to meet them more than anything else in the world." I don't know what band she won tickets to, and, in a certain phase of my life (junior high) if I had won tickets to meet Jon Bon Jovi, I would have responded in kind to her.
The DJ congratulated her and commented on her enthusiastic response and told her to have a great time. And then the next song cued up. It probably wasn't on purpose, but it was one of those times when two things pushed up against make one not make much sense. The next song was Mercy Me's "I Can Only Imagine." Strange song for a secular radio station. I have always loved this song that projects what it will be like the day someone meets Jesus. I wonder if the woman who won the tickets, who said this is all she ever wanted, changed her mind just a little bit, listening to the words, "Surrounded by your glory, what will I feel...will I stand in your presence, or to my feet will I fall, or will I be able to speak at all?"
Now I know my clergy and religious friends who are a little cynical of pop Christian culture probably don't like this song. So much of this world is about that one person we all love the best, "I." And it is a little presumptuous to consider the day you meet Jesus and make it all about "me" and how "I" will feel. But there's some truth to this song, and when you listen to it at 11 am on a Friday morning after hearing a woman scream that winning band tickets is all she's ever wanted, it reminded me that there are higher things to crave in this life than the latest rock star. Like the kingdom of God. What if that's all that any of us ever wanted?

What you don't have you don't need it now

If you go back and study the ancient Greek, when Jesus said, "Where two or more or gathered, there I am also," I think you could find an untranslated phrase that reads, "Where two or more are gathered, there conflict is also."  And it's good to remember that -- where there is conflict, there is also Jesus.

I had to remember that this week as we had one of those family tiffs that all church families have.  After a meeting Tuesday night, I sat in my office thinking about the whole situation, and I commented to God, "Because you are God, I bet you are going to do a God-miracle thing with this whole situation in the next 24 hours."  And God did.  But God's miracle wasn't what I thought or what I would have chosen if I was the creator of the universe.  And yet what God chose to do was so much better...funny how it can work out that way?

But here's how God "miracle-ized" in my life within 24 hours--changed my heart, removed all bitterness and set my eyes on the new path.  And it all ended in my drive home Wednesday night.  After having dinner with some girlfriends in north Plano, I drove home 75, turned on the radio, and U2's "Beautiful Day" was playing.  And the first words I heard were the chorus, "What you don't have you don't need it now..."  That would have been applicable enough to the situation, but what made this even more meaningful is that this song reminds me of a woman named Amy who died of breast cancer when she was in her early 30s.

She was a gorgeous woman married to a gorgeous guy and in trying to have a child, they discovered her breast cancer.  She had that type that is fierce and strong and not easily treated.  She fought a strong fight.  And when the fight was over, what was left was a family on both sides grieving and hurting.  At her funeral, which I will always remember because I also co-presided at the communion table with a Catholic priest (something that will probably never happen again in my ministry), this song was played, "Beautiful Day," and ever since, when I hear this song, I give thanks for that which is the true gift in life--health.

Hearing the song this time meant a little more now that I'm expecting.  Amy and Ted wanted to have a child.  They never gave birth to a physical baby, but isn't it interesting that so many years later, Amy's spirit brought life to me while driving down 75 at 9 pm on a Wednesday night.

Reasons why you become a minister

Today was one of those reasons...I officiated a wedding today, Wed., Jan. 30, at 4 pm in the Sanctuary of First Church. Only four people were there...the bride, the groom and their 2 adult sons. The couple married in 1966 and were married for 26 years until they divorced. They stayed connected, sharing holidays and family events. They came to the decision that they wanted to remarry and share their lives together. So why today? It's the anniversary of their wedding and they didn't want to have to remember a second date! At the conclusion of today's service, they both said that today meant so much more than that original date ever meant. It reminds me of what a mentor of mine said to me....it is only when couples return, 20, 30 or 40 years after their wedding, when they have shared their joys, carried their burdens, watched their wrinkles form...it is only then that they shall know what love is.

They asked me to read a beautiful passage from the Book of Tobit, found in the Apocrypha of the Bible. I share it with you because it is such a beautiful image. (Tobit 8:5-9)

"Tobias got out of bed and said to Sarah, 'Get up, and let us pray and implore our Lord that he grant us mercy and safety.' So she got up, and they began to pray and implore that they might be kept safe. Tobias began by saying, "Blessed are you, O God of our ancestors, and blessed is your name in all generations forever. Let the heavens and the whole creation bless you forever. You made Adam, and for him you made his wife Eve as a helper and support. From the two of them the human race has sprung. You said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone; let us make a helper for him like himself.' I now am taking this kinswoman of mine, not because of
lust, but with sincerity. Grant that she and I may find mercy and that we may
grow old together." And they both said, "Amen, Amen." Then they went to sleep for the night."

UrbanChili

We tried our best today as a new group at First Church to takeover the Annual All-Church Chili Cook-Off. Adam, who is pictured in the photo directly above in the red shirt, made our chili entry from a family recipe. We didn't win the cook-off--this year. We'll be back.

Best interactive Bible map

I'm teaching a new class starting tomorrow on the book of Joshua. I found the coolest Bible maps website that uses google maps to illustrate where places were/are. www.biblemap.org

It's always challenging to overlay past places with current places and this really gives you insight into what's where.

My health insurance company

I got a call today from a dis-interested telemarketer who wanted to sign me up for a free program through my health insurance that allows me to have phone calls with a nurse every so often to evaluate my health. I told her I was not interested, and she tried to convince me why I should be interested. I told her again I was not interested, and she said, "If you verify your account I can at least explain to you why the claims department identified you for this program." What? The claims department is somehow concerned about my health??
I know how I got on their radar screen...I believe in regular chiropractic care for good spinal health. I see my doctor about once or twice a month, falling well below the $1000 yearly maximum for chiropractic treatments. I know that my insurance company would rather me not see my chiropractor on a regular basis. They would rather me talk to this nurse once a quarter so they can get insider information on my health status. But when you consider that my premium is somewhere between $7,000-8,000 A YEAR (Yes, because clergy fall in the lowest category of healthy professions and we are an aging group), I think they can swing less than a $1,000 for my healthy spine.
The Methodist Health Insurance is such a racket...not only is it super-expensive...if I added a child or spouse it would be about $6,000 each...I am also required by the Methodist Church to have the insurance AND my local church is required to pay for it. So if I chose to opt out of it because, say, my husband's policy only costs $2400/year, my local church would still have to pay for it. And let's not mention that with a $2400/year premium, that policy would have paid 100% of my maternity if it could have been my primary insurance whereas my $8,000 policy is only paying 80% of my maternity.
Okay, enough venting. I'm lucky to have health insurance. I'm lucky to have my company pay my health insurance (although my company gets ripped off). I'm lucky to be able to choose my health care provider.
But don't call me to sign me up for a free nurse program because the claims department has suddenly taken an interest in my good health.

First Pregnancy Cold

I've known this was a possibility...getting a cold while pregnant...and it happened this week. And a cold while pregnant is no fun because I can't take my beloved friend of past colds, Advil Cold & Sinus. I'm doing the things your grandmother said to do...drink orange juice, get lots of vitamin c and sleep.
If I wasn't pregnant, I would be popping those Advils and pushing through this. But when sleep is one of the 3 things you can do, it's sometimes hard to just let go and go back to bed. Americans don't like to sleep. I think we might see resting as a sign of weakness. For those who can pull all-nighters or exist on 4-5 hours a night, we secretly envy them and wonder if they are a better species. On the topic of sleep, my husband thinks it is a useless waste of time and wonders why the need for sleep hasn't been changed over the last million or so years.
I've always loved sleep...I'm an 8-9 hour-a-night girl. I think sleep exists because it is a reminder that we are dependent on someone or something else. We are most vulnerable while sleeping to forces in this world and forces outside this world. In sleep, dreams and visions can come to us even if we don't want them to. Our subconscious can nudge us to do the next right thing, even if it's not the most preferred thing. And, sometimes we just have weird dreams that make no sense. The Buddha says that reality is what happens when you sleep; waking is actually your dreams. (Think on that one...)
In the creation story, it describes the first day as this: "It was evening and then morning, the first day." A "day" starts with the evening...it begins with going to bed. What better way to acknowledge that you are not in control than to start your day by letting go of all control. And when we wake up, we join God as co-creators in a day that is half-over!
May you sleep well knowing that God our Creator, Redeemer and Sustainer does not sleep or slumber. He will not let you fall.

First parenting crisis

I had my first parenting crisis today, involving the dog.  Sarah the dog has been a little uneasy lately with changes in our condo (nursery furniture moved in), workmen fixing projects that have gone on way too long, and, Troy has been traveling more with work and she is sad when he is gone.  

Here's the scenario:  I came home for lunch today, and, I was meeting the plumber to finish the project from last Friday.  While I was opening the door, Sarah went over to the table and ate my sandwich off the table.  (Something she has never done.)  So I had to handle parenting my dog in front of a complete stranger...it was a hectic few minutes.  I'm sure this is only the first of many trying to figure out how you handle discipline while juggling other things all at the same time.  

I'm sympathetic towards her...I know she knows somewhere in her dog brain that life is changing.  Eating my sandwich off the table is not the direction we are headed, though! 

Only Be Strong and Courageous

I'm beginning my new year with the story of Joshua. The book of Joshua will be the topic of the upcoming UrbanLife Sunday morning class "Crossings" that begins Jan. 13 at 9:45 am. Joshua crossed some major hurdles in his life and there is wisdom in his story for the crossings that we encounter everyday.
The story of Joshua begins at the end of the story of Moses. I've always wondered what Moses thought when God brought him to the very edge of the promised land and said, (my paraphrase), "You've done a good job Moses getting the people out of Egypt, protecting them for 40 years in the wilderness. See, this is the land that I've been promising to you and the people. However, you, Moses, can see the land but it is not yours to take the people there."

Deut. 34:4 says, "The Lord said to him, 'This is the land of which I swore to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, saying, "I will give it to your descendants"; I have let you see it with your eyes, but you shall not cross over there."

I wonder how Moses felt to come so far but not get to reap the rewards. Would Moses have acted differently his entire life if he knew he would not get to the Promised Land? I've been thinking a lot these days about what it means to invest yourself in a vision that is larger than yourself, a vision that when it comes to fruition you won't even be here to appreciate it. One example is building generational wealth--making the kinds of sacrifices now so that grandkids and great-grandkids will have necessary resources AS WELL AS being able to be a family that makes significant gifts to charity.
Another example of this is the story that I read over Christmas--Three Cups of Tea--based on the real life story of Greg Mortenson. After failing to reach the K2 Summit on a hiking expedition, he found himself in a remove village in Pakistan making a promise to build a school for the people. That promise has turned into a lifelong effort to build schools in Pakistan and Afghanistan that offer girls the opportunity to learn. Mortenson believes terrorism will not end with war; it will end with education. Most likely, Mortenson will not see the end to terrorism in his lifetime, yet he keeps building schools, one-by-one. He can see the vision.
Two times in Joshua 1 this command is given, "Only be strong and courageous." I believe it takes people who are strong and courageous to carve a path in this world towards a vision that is great than them and takes more time than their lifespan to achieve. But they keep carving the path, little by little.
That's who I want to be when I grow up one day.

"Just for Today"

When my grandmother Rachel Self died in September 2006, I was reminded at her funeral of her appreciation for Dear Abby's New Year's Column entitled "Just for Today." When I read Dear Abby this morning and found the "Just for Today" essay, my heart smiled remembering my grandmother. It's funny how things like this pop into your life at just the time you need them to be there! Here it is for you:

Dear Abby's New Year's Resolutions

• 
  Just for today, I will live through this day only, and not set far-reaching goals to try to overcome all my problems at once. I know I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I thought I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
• Just for today, I will be happy. Abraham Lincoln said, "Most folks are about as happy as they makeup their minds to be." He was right. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. I will chase them out of my mind and replace them with happy thoughts.
• Just for today, I will adjust myself to what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things that I can correct and accept those I cannot.
• Just for today, I will improve my mind. I will notbe a mental loafer. I will force myself to read something that requires effort, thought, and concentration.
• Just for today, I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll make an honest effort to quit. If I'm overweight,I'll eat nothing I know to be fattening and I'll force myself to exercise ~ even if it'sonly walking around the block or using thestairs instead of the elevator.
• Just for today, I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will look as good as I can, dress becomingly, speak softly, act courteously,and not interrupt when someone else is talking.
• Just for today, I'll try not to improve anybodyexcept myself. We know so much more about nutrition and how much exercise and sensible living can extend life and make it more enjoyable; so just for today, I'll take good care of my body so I can celebrate many more happy new years.
• Just for today, I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it, thereby saving myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.
• Just for today, I will gather the courage to do what is right and take the responsibility for my own actions.