American Memorial Marshall Fellowship

I'm thrilled to share with my blogworld that I accomplished something else while enduring 20-weeks of morning sickness...I was selected as a 2008 American Memorial Marshall Fellow. This is an incredible program that sends young adults, 28-40, leaders to European cities for a 21-day public policy tour. My friend and colleague Diane Presley first told me about the fellowship last year. It is an incredible honor to be selected to represent Texas next October. Click here to see others across America who were selected for the fellowship, and, you can read more about the program: http://www.gmfus.org/template/page.cfm?page_id=366

Speaking from Silence

"All necessary conversations begin in stillness and silence."--Me, Dec. 23, 2007

I'm impressed by yogis who go off in silence at the end of the year to wait and listen for a New Year's message. Silence is a lost art in our world today. Yet silence truly is fertile soil from which new ideas, different thoughts, and renewed energy grows. I've always found it humorous that the Self family can sit in a room together, be perfectly silent and yet perfectly happy. Makes me think we have some Quaker in our past DNA.
I haven't gone on a silent retreat recently, but I feel like a word has bubbled from deep in my soul...and I believe it's my word for 2008. It's not original...but it's mine--grateful. I have this deep well of gratefulness that seems to be spilling over in my heart and soul. So my New Year's wish is that I continue to develop and deepen a grateful soul.
What's your word for the New Year?

The belly is growing

"Everything grows rounder and wider and weirder, and I sit here in
the middle of it all and wonder who in the world you will turn out to be."--
Carrie Fisher
"The most important thing she'd learned over the years was that there was
no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one."-- Jill
Churchill

Here I am at 22 weeks on Christmas Eve Day! It's hard to believe my tummy is getting so round--like a bowl full of jelly (although my tummy is actually hard, not soft!) My parents requested this picture posting and I must admit it's a little strange to put my belly on my blog. Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas!

Christmas is coming

Well, the big day is just around the corner. I'm ready for Christmas. Since we had an early Thanksgiving, it feels like Christmas has been out there "lurking." I was able to get my Christmas presents bought and the necessary ones mailed in a timely fashion. These days, I'm thankful for little accomplishments like these. The pregnancy nausea now comes and goes but the pregnancy tiredness hangs around almost every day!
I've really enjoyed the Advent traditions of First Church and I look forward to the live Christmas Eve service at 11 pm...you can watch it in person, on the web, or live on WFAA-Channel 8.
Some incredible things have happened since my last blog entry...my colleague and friend donated a kidney to her sister-in-law. Both are doing well in the these early days post-surgery. Please keep them in your prayers...Sherrye (donor) and Kim (recipient)....my baby is kicking and moving more every day. I'm waiting for that magic moment when Troy will be able to feel a kick.....and, I had a "middle of the night" wake-up call two weeks ago and realized that it was now-or-never for me to take my massage therapy exam. I registered for the test, brushed up on my anatomy and took the state exam this past week. And I passed! I'm now a licensed massage therapist in the state of Texas--a massage therapist with no clients! (Not a good business model.)
I'm preaching tomorrow at First Church so my mind is on my sermon...will blog more tomorrow.

Meditation Rocks

There's all kinds of meditation out there and this "Geek meditation" is funny. I'm currently taking a class, "Meditation for Birth." It is a very interesting course and could easily be titled, "Medititation for Pain Management." Will discuss more later. For now, just wanted to share a smile with you today.

Meredith Braaten -- email me!

Meredith, email me at reverendkath@gmail.com.

It's not about us people!

The Today Show spot was "How to Treat your Loved Ones Like a Celebrity this Christmas" and the person presenting is a professional shopper who can find all the things that are the "musts" if you want to copy celebrities' lives. The first item on the list--these "Ho Ho Christmas Stockings" that replace the traditional stockings hung by the fire. I don't know where to start....just to say that Christmas is not about making us feel good or feel happy or feel like a Celebrity. I'm not sure what it is about except that it is the annual observance of a season of the Christian year. And somehow from this observance we have derived "Ho Ho Christmas Stockings." It makes me want to run and hide in a convent the rest of my life.

My second cousin and my first pregnancy photo

My second cousin Nancy was in-town over the weekend for her husband's company Christmas party. She is the one who I recently met who has been sharing Simonds family photos. We had tea at her hotel...the Hotel Palomar (my first time there even though I've driven past many times). The top picture is the two of us in front of their hotel Christmas tree. The bottom picture--OH MY GOSH...my first time to see a picture of me looking pregnant. I think I'm having a baby!

DayTimer.com wins store of the year

Something good happened today--not quite a Christmas miracle--but as close as possible for the retail world. And the ending of the story is that Daytimer.com wins Retail Store of the Year in my book. I recently ordered my 2008 page-a-day calendar from them (this is my 3rd year using their system). I mentioned to the phone person that in the past year, I lost one of the screws that holds the rings to the binder. I asked if she could send me a screw. And she said she couldn't send me a screw, and she suggested that I could find one at the hardware store. The conversation felt funny and actually stayed with me the past few days, but I just didn't feel like pushing the issue.

Today, just 10 minutes ago, I received a phone call from the Quality Assurance Division of Daytimer.com. Upon reviewing the call, it was decided that my request was not accurately handled. I never knew that that pre-recorded message "Your call is being recorded for quality assurance" really mattered. Their apology--they are sending me a brand new binder. I would have been happy with a screw, but I will accept a new binder! I'm a small fish for them--I order once a year my pages--yet they treated me like my business really matters in the large pond of retail. Thanks Daytimer.com for brightening my day.

Buddha Belly

We had our 20-week sonogram this morning and we are celebrating the miracle of life. Baby Ransdell has become incarnate and all organs and anatomy are in-place and looking good. In fact, our little baby has a big belly for his/her age (already taking after Grandpa Self...). Big bellies were signs of godliness in Buddhas, which is why you always see Buddhas with bellies. The big belly actually represented the capacity to hold great breath, which is considered the source of all life. So, we have a baby with a Buddha belly!

And he/she has a long femur. Both are signs of a healthy, long baby! Troy likes the top photo because it looks like the baby is using his pointer finger to ponder life. I like the bottom photo because it shows the tiny details of his/her hand. And talk about temptation--the three different people who viewed our sonogram said they could clearly see the gender of the baby--but we held strong. It will now be a surprise because they did not write it in our chart. Here's to surprises in life.

The sonogram doctor said something funny...he asked if this was my first pregnancy. I said yes, and he said, "Good job...You grow them good." So now I have to keep this bun in the oven baking for the next 20 weeks!

A girl might change her mind

Since falling in love with the first nursery theme, Wabi Sabi, I found another Oriental theme by the same designer--this is called Sticky Rice. I think I like the deeper red and creme color scheme better than the rust and white of the other pattern. So, this is our theme, officially!

I think I've got my nursery theme!

Troy and I want to be surprised on the day the baby is born with the gender of the child. This is not the choice either of our parents want us to make. But there are so few real surprises in this world, and we want this to be a surprise for us when the child is born.

This decision makes some things more difficult. Grandparents have to work harder to find gender-neutral colors. And we had to become creative as to the nursery theme.

I had already decided I didn't want to buy into the consumeristic Disney narrative for my child's bedding nor did I want a pastel color scheme. After a friend told me that babies primarily see the colors red, black and white, I had a brainstorm--I would have an oriental theme nursery.

I was so excited by my idea and I had one friend, as well as my husband, think it was a good idea. From others, I would get a reply like, "Well, that will be 'interesting'." I could hear the hesitation in their voices. I searched long and hard on the Internet for oriental baby bedding/nursery themes and up until today found only two ideas that I really didn't like.

Then, I found Wabi Sabi by Glenna Jean. And I love it. I love the colors, the incorporation of the bamboo, and the different textures on the quilt. And, I love the mobile--little brown bears wearing skirts made out of the bamboo pattern. I also like the design idea in the picture above, incorporating oriental lamps. Since we plan to move sooner than later, we decided we didn't want to paint the walls so the red paint isn't possible--but there are some other ways to incorporate that color.

Of course, I haven't considered the cost and whether it is in our budget, all I know is this is what I have envisioned my nursery/study to look like.

I'm glad to know that I'm not strange to have an Oriental theme for our nursery--that someone else in the world has thought about it also! Check out the other pieces in the theme at http://www.babysupermall.com/main/products/glj/glj38240.html

Nursery themes are definately for the priveleged and I must confess that I struggle with the stewardship perspective of having a nursery theme when there are people out there who have nothing.

A final note to November

Just wanted to add a "PS" to my November blog entries -- today starts the beginning of my 19th week! Almost half-way there!

Craigslist frustrations

I'm trying to sell a piece of furniture on Craig's list, my 3rd time to do this. The first 2 times were SO easy. Within 48 hours, both pieces were sold, paid for with cash and picked up by its new owner. This time has not been easy. I've had 2 people bargain for the item over email, both people came to a price they accepted, and then both flaked on me when it came time to pick up the item. One woman told me she would call on a Saturday and left me hanging all day long. At least this second person never committed to a time and date when he would pick up the item.
That's frustrating to me. Say what you mean and mean what you say. The world would be a lot nicer if we lived by this motto.

Join First Church on Christmas Eve, in person or on WFAA Channel 8

Kathryn Ruth

As my newly discovered second cousin sends more photos of my mom's side of the family, I find myself without words looking at snapshots of time and places and faces that are so foreign to me and yet they are genetically a part of me. These people are part of my cellular structure. I never knew my maternal grandmother, Kathryn Ruth Varner Simonds. She died in 1970, 5 years before I was born. I carry her name...My full name is Kathryn Ruth.

This is a picture of her at the home of my great-grandparents, Mr. and Mrs. Simonds (my grandfather's parents which would make this her in-laws house). On the porch is my mom. My great-grandparents lived in Carrollton, Illinois. I never knew that, but then again, there's lots of things I never knew about my family.

I wish this photo could talk. I wonder what this woman would say to me, the person who carried on her name. She has been such a dominant and driving force in my life even though she died 5 years before I was born. But it was her life, and her death, that has shaped my life for better and for worse. I am learning karmic lessons from this story that doesn't end with physical death. When I was a teenager, I had this vision in the middle of the night and I know that my grandmother came and talked with me about all kinds of life things. It is a vision that has comforted and supported me for many years.

A few years ago, at the home of my grandmother's sister, I learned some interesting stories about my grandmother, including her short love affair with a French fighter pilot preceding World War II. She met him when she was the librarian at Weatherford College. And it explains why in the Weatherford College yearbooks, the name Kathryn Fauviere was listed beneath her picture. What a woman to fall in love with a French fighter pilot. I only got to hear that story once that day, and no one else in the family will talk about it.

I wonder what this woman in the foreground would say to me today, an expectant mother. I wonder about this woman in the background...my mother.

Baby Bump!

I'm watching the finale of Dancing with the Stars as I type this blog entry. I think Helio will win although I wish Mel B. would win. Although Marie is a great entertainer, she has not made the progress either of these two have made in their dancing.

18 weeks ago, I did not watch tv. I might catch a movie or watch The Simpsons or Family Guy with Troy every so often. I mostly read books in the evening and enjoyed that quiet time. Then, this little thing called Morning Sickness hit and I could barely get myself off the sofa. My first night of mindless tv watching was the first night of this season's Dancing with the Stars. Although my opinion of tv has not changed (I still think it is not the most wise use of time), I'm thankful for its company while struggling to make it through each day.

But it's a little bittersweet tonight that the season is ending. Their dance steps are just ending. For me, though, it's all just beginning. In the past 48 hours, I've gone from looking like I've had one too many late night snacks to looking like I'm pregnant! And, I think I felt the first flutters earlier today!

So good luck to those stars...and I'm excited about the star that is coming into this world to be a part of our lives.

Family Photo

I got an email this week from a cousin of my mother's--the last time their families saw each other was around 1960. She sent this photo of my grandfather (center) his sister and brother (to his right) and his parents (to his left). She also shared stories about her side of the family as well as stories about her parents and my great-grandparents. I love finding family members like her, people who are interested in the story and can tell the story without judgement. In other words, she can talk truthfully about the good and the bad in the family.

Every family has good and bad. It is the opportunity offered by the holidays to celebrate the good, accept the bad, and realize the line between the two is more thin than you might want to think.

The timing of the contact from my second cousin was God-inspired. The month of November, as the pregnancy became more real (almost 18 weeks now!) , I've been internally contemplating what it means to be a parent and how I will know what "to do" as a mother. When talking with my brother about it last night, he encouraged me to look forward to every moment and then the details will somehow fall into place.

A Controversial Vote

Just returned from my local polling place. I exercised my constitutional right to vote. It is a privilege that we take way too lightly here in the United States. It's what separates us from places like, well, um, Iran. When I see pictures of women in other countries wearing burkas, I realize that what separates me from them is my right to vote, even if I am only voting for propositions that I'm not really sure what all they involve. (Of course, the assumption is that they would rather not be wearing the burka. There are days when a burka would be a welcome relief--takes care of bad hair days and fat days.)
At 2:35 pm, I was the 147th person to vote at my precinct polling place. It was a tough moment at the ballot box, as a citizen of Texas and a citizen of Dallas, trying hard to determine what is the best decision both for Texas and Dallas on this controversial issue. I really 'sweated' it out, weighing the arguments in my head one more time. Then I finally made the call. And, I confess, I voted FOR the proposition....Proposition 10 that is....that removes references to the outdated Office of Hides and Animals in the Texas Constitution.
"The Inspector of Hides and Animals is an office created in 1871. This county officer was charged with inspecting certain hides and animals for sale or slaughter. Only some counties had an elected Inspector of Hides and Animals and by the 1990s this office was virtually non-existent through the state. By actions of the Texas Legislature in 2003 and 2006 the office was effectively abolished." (Source: Analyses of Proposed Constitutional Amendments, November 6, 2007, Election, Texas Legislative Council, September 2007)
Citizens of Dallas and Texas can sleep well tonight knowing that ALL references to the Office of Hides and Animals will no longer be included in the Texas Constitution.

After you hit the wall

Pregnancy was not agreeing with me last week, which is why I didn't blog. I was thinking I turned a corner, only to find the new street contained large progesterone potholes, might have even been sinkholes.

Sunday was particularly rough...sick all day and I was frustrated by this continuing sickness...I had an important 2008 planning meeting with the UrbanLife Leadership Team and it took all I had just to get out of bed and back up to the church. On the way home last night, I knew I had hit the wall. To be cliche, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Troy listened to my litany of ailments and he even let me cry without trying to fix-it and make it better. After an hour or so, he suggested the best prescription might be sleep. And he reminded me that it's okay to hit a wall as long as you get up the next day and pick yourself up and find a new path.

I was really thankful for those words of wisdom this morning (not necessarily last night), and, I'm thankful for my doctor who heard my frustration in my voice this morning and proposed a new plan for pregnancy-symptom management. I felt the best today than I have felt in a longtime so I hope the medications started today continue to work their magic.

So when you hit a wall, it's okay. Just don't forget to pick yourself up and find a new path.

A good weekend

After 14 weeks of being home bound, Troy and I began our return to the land of the living this past weekend. After the beautiful and mystifying sonogram appointment on Friday morning, we anticipated the wedding rehearsal for Brittany Meyer and Ray Mussachio. I had the honor of co-officiating the wedding with Father Jim from Prince of Peace Catholic Church in Plano. The rehearsal was perfect and it was so good to see some old friends from St. Andrew. We celebrated the rehearsal at dinner at LaHacienda. I loved watching Ray's parents and Brittany's parents at the dinner. Their excitement and joy for their kids glowed!

The wedding was Saturday evening--everything was wonderful. My message to them was simple...Marriage is not a game of perfect; Marriage is a game of forgiveness. And God is now giving them a lifetime to play the game. Become good at it, and life will be so much easier.

There was so much joy at the wedding and the reception that I went home so happy...when Sunday morning came way too early, I still felt the joy from the night before.

Church on Sunday morning was a big day--Stewardship Sunday for the 2008 budget. After church, Troy and I met Leeanne and Charlotte at the Meyerson to hear the music of Harry Potter....then...it was time for First Church's Fall Carnival. By the time I got home last night around 7:30 pm, I was exhausted. I was so tired that when my body woke-up for its nightly 3 am hot flash early this Monday morning, I couldn't even get out of bed to deal with it.

We had several opportunities this weekend to watch parents in different life stages. Doug and Suzan gave their daughter away in marriage while parents at the Fall Carnival had their little ones in his/her first Halloween costumes. I've always heard that when you become a parent, your perspective on life changes. It's changing for me...I so want to be the best parent I can be and raise a healthy child who knows how incredible and amazing he/she is simply because they were created by God.

You know, I remember when I was 14 or 15 I became interested in being a children's minister. At the time, I was Baptist and this was the only job available to my gender. I wanted to be a children's minister because I felt called to help little kids know how incredible, amazing and gifted they are by God. As a minister today, the same thing drives me...how do I communicate to adults, who are so serious and focused and determined, that they have been destined for joy and positioned for peace?

Expectations

Here it is--the first photo of Baby Ransdell. I have never been able to identify a baby in a sonogram picture. When friends showed me their pictures, I would smile and be excited with them even though I could not make heads-or-tails of the picture. Now that I have had my first sonogram, it makes a little more sense to me what the picture is all about. Everything is looking good for the Baby Ransdell. Our due date is now April 27.

Leadership

I attended a Leadership seminar this week at the iPlace in Grapevine. The iPlace is the physical location of Leaders Summit. Leaders Summit trains people from the non-profit and the for-profit world on the issues of Leadership. I highly recommend the experience for ministers. The value I received was well worth the time and financial commitment made by both the church and me.
Something that really impacted me was how they described vision. So often, having a vision means having some grand view of the horizon (which is true, that's long-range vision), but there is also something called mid-range and short-range vision. One of my spiritual gifts is the long range vision. I believe God has gifted me with the ability to communicate vision through teaching and preaching. However, it is my spiritual discipline to execute the vision. Most ministers can see the kingdom but we aren't sure what to do to bring about the kingdom (execution). One of the strength of Leaders Summit is that participants are pushed to examine and deepen and strengthen execution. A good vision, poorly executed, is not fun for anyone.
This workshop came at a great time for me. I've had a hard and challenging past 13 weeks physically and I feel like I'm beginning to hit my stride again. I feel like I have been refocused for the challenge that is before me...building ministry in the Uptown/Downtown area. Simply put, it is crazy that the church has abandoned people between the ages of 22-36 when they are making the biggest decisions of their life--it's past time for the church to be relevant and connected to those who are choosing things that matter to God.

What a Difference a Blessing Makes

I received this email from a church member today. She brought her new beagle puppy to the Blessing of the Animals and reports that the blessing "took." (Human names have been deleted but Yoda is the name of the beagle puppy.)

Dear Kathryn, We adopted an adorable little beagle puppy about 3 months ago. My boys (ages 4 and 6) absolutely LOVE him and as much as I hate to admit it my husband and I have fallen in love with him as well. His name is YODA. We brought Yoda and his cousin Maxie to the blessing of the animals a few weeks ago and we all had a blast. Yesterday Yoda went to the vet to be neutered. A very simple every day procedure for the vet, nothing complicated. We were to pick him up at 4:30. My husband called around 1ish to check on Yoda and they said the vet would have to call him back. The vet eventually called him back to tell him that Yoda had gone into cardiac arrest on the table, his heart had stopped and they had to do CPR and compressions, pump him full of some drugs, etc......................for several minutes it was touch and go. They weren't sure if he had blood in his lungs from the compressions, how long his brain had gone w/out oxygen etc......so we really didn't know what to expect when we picked him up. We went to pick up Yoda last night around 7:30 (they had kept him the rest of the day for observation) and you can imagine our relief when he came running in wagging his tail with lots of kisses for the entire family. As the vet was explaining what had happened that day, he was completely at a loss for what had transpired in the operating room. He said there was absolutely no reason for this to have happened and he was stumped but very grateful that Yoda was ok. My 6 year old, sings in the Carol Choir and had on his Blessing of the Animals shirt (coincidence??). The vet and his assistant inquired as to what Blessing of the Animals was. We explained what it was, talked about our church and their new mission with UrbanLife. I said kind of joking "looks like his blessing didn't take". The vet very quickly said "I totally disagree. Do you know Yoda actually died on that operating table today. I think his blessing definitely worked and it ended up saving his life". Well from the entire family, thank you for bringing the Blessing of the Animals to FUMC Dallas and for Blessing our Yoda. It looks like his blessing ended up saving his life.

Blessings

I am honored each year to offer the invocation at the Komen Dallas Race for the Cure Luncheon sponsored and hosted by Strasburger & Price, LL,. This is the seventh year of the luncheon. Each year I am inspired and encouraged by the stories of survivors, the reports of leaps made in research, and the dollar totals raised worldwide to find a cure.
This year, a scientist who works for Komen spoke about two counties with the highest rate of breast cancer in America—Marin County, CA, and Madison County, MS. As a researcher, he wondered, “Why these counties and not some other county?”
Listening to him, I felt relieved that my address is Dallas County and not Marin or Madison counties. In actuality, though, breast cancer does not discriminate based on geography, race, age, income status or religious preference.
The fact that a woman in my family has not had breast cancer is either a gift of good health or luck of the genetic gene pool. As a friend who died too young of lymphoma used to say, “Health is a halo worn by the unaware.”
How do I become aware of all the halos I wear and blessings I receive? When it comes to counting my blessings, I wonder sometimes, “Why was I given so much and others given so little?” When amazing opportunities come my way, I wonder what is unique to my life.
I have not found an answer to my questions, yet, but there is a story that keeps me aligned with what God wants for my life. It is the Parable of the Talents, a story about what we’ve been given in life, including financial resources, and what we do with what we’ve been given.
This parable also teaches me that no matter what amount or level a person has been given, every person possesses the gift of giving. Utilizing that gift of giving means you have to do the hard work of identifying a need that can only be filled by someone like you and then taking that first step and doing something—anything—to generate momentum.
I have found that the way to identify a need is to pray. Ask God to show you a need. Then pray some more. Keep praying once that need is revealed. I often pray this one sentence: “Break my heart with what breaks yours” (from Hosanna by Hillsong).
Imagine the blessings that could be poured out on this world if each one of us took seriously the task of praying to be given a God-sized need that only we could meet. I invite you to pray. Then pray some more. Then keep praying.
Finally, being a woman is the greatest risk factor for having breast cancer. Health is a halo worn by the unaware, but, women can stay aware by doing monthly breast self-exams and keeping up with annual mammograms. Don’t wait.

I love teaching

UrbanLife classes began this week ... my first time to teach since I arrived at First Church. I'm really enjoying the people in the classes and the topics we are discussing. Tonight was a girl's group and we discussed perfectionism. Of course, only a handful of women deal with this subject ;)

I was so blessed while teaching to remember that I don't have to change what I believe about myself...but I do have to change what I believe God believes about me. And if I start there--what God believes about me--that will eventually change my mind and heart about my beliefs about myself.

When I can change my mind and heart, then that will bring about changes in my body and soul. For me, perfectionism held me back from truly understanding God's purpose for my life. As God broke the stronghold of perfectionism in my life, I was able to understand what Paul said to the Galatians -- Christ came to bring us freedom.

Is Perfectionism a by-produce of our easy, comfortable luxurious lifestyle in the US? Probably so. When I have traveled to other parts of the world (and sometimes the other parts of this city) where people fight for survival, somehow the issue of my thighs or latest wrinkle or how I look a pair of jeans takes a backseat.

I want to give a shout-out to my friend and colleague Paula Miltenberger, PhD, who co-presented with me tonight. We've had quite a journey since I met her in 1999 and I feel so blessed that God has brought our paths together again.

Want to find out if you a perfectionist? Here is an online quiz from Discovery Health.

1 Corinthians 10:23

Regarding yesterday's post about the Fair Food.  It's about 12:45 am early Friday morning.  And let me just tell you what is going through my mind right about now as I'm communing in my bathroom....1 Corinthians 10:23.  This translation is from God's Word (no idea its credibility as a translation but it's what I found when I googled the text).

"Someone may say, 'I'm allowed to do anything,' but not everything is helpful.  I'm allowed to do anything, but not everything encourages growth."

Fair Day 2007

When I "interviewed" at First Church (knowing that as Methodist ministers there is no such thing as an interview), I was told about the annual tradition of Fair Day. The staff goes to the Fair for a long lunch and eats their way through the park. Today was Fair Day.
See for yourself all we ate.

• Note that not pictured is the fried banana pudding and funnel cake with apple pie topping.
• The Fried Cosmopolitan, on our list, was already sold out by noon.
• Apologies to Burton, our Episcopalian intern who is half-in the group shot in front of the Corny Dog Stand.
• Eddie is eating a chocolate-dipped banana (it was good but a little too sweet).
• Not pictured are the Pepto Bismol tablets enjoyed by Vance and the Tums enjoyed by me.

Pictures from Fair Day

Explanation of the First Rule of Book Club

So maybe I did not explain well the First Rule of Book Club to the general blog population. It's not that we don't read the books, it's just that we want people to come to book club and share in the conversation and insights even if they did not get the chance to start or finish the book. Sometimes life gets too busy to get the book read, but we still want to see everyone. And, our goal isn't critical analysis of the book itself, but drawing out larger themes and how the story in the book informs the story of our lives as Christians.

Yesterday's book fell in the category of hard to finish. The story line is moving, haunting, funny and beautiful. The author, though, drew on her talents as a nature writer which can be challenging to read IF nature writing is not your thing.

The best thing about the book we read is that it offered a timeless reminder that left to our own devices and poisoned by inhumane thinking, humans can be animals. The book we read this month--The Zookeeper's Wife by Diane Ackerman.

First Rule of Book Club

I want to start by giving a shout-out to my book club that met for our monthly discussion today. Great home, great lunch, outstanding conversation. And I want to give a special shout out to our resident theologian in the group, who happens to be male, and, who did not appreciate that last month I gave a shout out to the girls in the book group. So here's to our resident theologian...and the goodness of book clubs.

The best part of our book club? The first rule of the Book club: you don't have to read the book.

Simplicity. Clarity. Singleness.

“Simplicity, clarity, singleness: These are the attributes that give our lives power and vividness and joy as they are also the marks of great art. They seem to be the purpose of God for his whole creation.” -- Richard Holloway, retired Bishop of Edinburg.

I'm physically feeling better each day, kinda like the first day after having the flu. You still don't feel well, but at least you know you don't feel as bad as the day before. It makes all these changes in life a little more enjoyable.

God blessed me way more than I deserve today and that's my word for the end of today: gratitude. And my prayer for today is that God grant me simplicity, clarity and singleness. What a great mantra to say each morning: Simplicity, Clarity and Singleness. (Just to clarify and put my husband at ease in case he reads this blog, I believe he is saying singleness in focus and not in reference to relationships.)

It's hard to gain clarity. My attention can be distracted by the internet, email, cell phone, television, newspaper...and yet what I feel called to might be reading some Scripture but it's so hard to turn all those things off and turn on the Scripture. Gaining clarity helps me to make this choice and pray for the strength to continue in God's creative flow.

My prayer of recent weeks has been for UrbanLife. I really would like for God to say (in a deep, booming voice), "Here it is Kathryn...the keys to UrbanLife." What I know in my heart is that it's going to take some trial and error and that this is the way God would have it...and that God is in this trial and error. The key is the trial and error, and, in seeking clarity everyday for this vital ministry. I wish I had this ministry for me when I was in my 20s. You make so many decisions in your 20s and 30s and for that to be the time in most people's lives when they are disconnected from a faith community is a huge loss for this world and for the Kingdom.

Simplicity, Clarity and Singleness....my prayer for today.

Big News in the Ransdell Family

"The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with Nature." -- Joseph Campbell

The Ransdell Family is growing and Sarah the Dog is looking forward to being a big sister in 2008! We are expecting. We heard the heartbeat today and decided it is time to share the news with the world.

Some of you who read my blog regularly noticed that I dropped off the face of the blogworld in September. I was very sick the month of September. There was not one brain cell left to write at the end of the day. It was a very challenging month for me. If someone told me on Sept. 1 that I would feel like I had the flu the entire month, then I could have created a plan B. Instead, I woke up day-after-day with headaches, nausea, vomiting...all the fun things. My social calendar became non-existent and my life became about making it through each day at work.

September was a huge month for UrbanLife. Just at the time when I needed to be at my best, I felt at my worst physically. There was so much I wanted to do and yet could not do. God was so gracious during the month. Just at the end of the month when I was really struggling with God's timing and wondering what effect this would have on UrbanLife's October launch, I received an email from a person who had heard about UrbanLife through a friend of a friend and wanted to get involved.

This was a good reminder for me that this is about God, and not about me, and at some point I have to accept my limitations and be open to God's infinite possibilities. It has also been a good reminder to me that UrbanLife is a long-term project and what matters is that we make consistent, steady gains in the ministry. October won't make-or-break the ministry and the people who need the ministry will find their way here.

Troy and I are so thrilled. It was an incredible moment today to hear that heartbeat and know that creation is unfolding before our eyes. I'm slowly getting my energy back and soon hope the nausea begins to fade away. As my midwife said today, all this sickness takes on a whole new meaning when you hear that beating heart.

I'm not sure I quite believe her...yet.

What it is all about

Today was a great day and the Blessing of the Animals was a wonderful event for UrbanLife and First Church. There are many stories to tell and this is the one I choose for you tonight.
The first person in my line to have her pet blessed was a small-frame woman carrying her very old and very sick small dog, probably a Chihuahua mix. I wish I knew this woman's name; I'm not even sure if she is a member of First Church or a visitor to the park that day.
I knew that this pet was not long for this world. After I gave the pet a blessing, she began to cry. I wrapped my arm around her when she whispered that she has to put her dog down in the morning. I wanted to scoop her aside and pray for her and her dog but the press of the line behind her and her own sensitivity wanting her privacy quickly ushered her out of my presence.
I did not see her again. Somehow in the Universe's amazing ways, I hope this message gets to her. This is from the poem, The Rainbow Bridge.

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal
dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow
Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can
run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our
friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are
restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and
strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss
someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play
together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance.
His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run
from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and
faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally
meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy
kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you
look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life
but never absent from your heart. Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown...

What a Great Blessing of the Animals!

Secure Dream?

I'm reading The Zookeeper's Wife by Diane Ackerman. It is the second book in the past 3 months that have made me consider how easy we have it here in the United States. The other book was 1,000 Splendid Suns, the follow-up to The Kite Runner.
The Zookeeper's Wife is set in Poland and the story begins as Germany prepares to invade Poland. 1,000 Splendid Suns is set in Afghanistan's tumultuous past at the time that the extremist government tore down the huge Buddha statues carved in the side of the cliff. Both are stories of countries that root themselves in conflict and war and both are stories of a new generation about to experience for the first time how war steals the average-ness of life.
Thank God I have not experienced this in my life. Every so often, though, I wonder what it would be like, how our America would be different, if we did not expect tomorrow to be the same as today. If we had enough pressure behind us to push us forward to be even more resourceful, even more prayerful, and even more connected to one another. As it is right now, for the most part, all I need in my life is me. I don't ever expect to need my neighbor to feed me dinner because my pantry is empty.
Of course, this comes from a middle-class, privileged-class perspective because for some in America, this is the reality of their life. There are some people who really do need someone to feed them dinner or provide them shelter.
When I read the paper this morning, I must admit I lost this perspective. The pastor of First Presbyterian Dallas, in response to a Dallas program that sweeps-up homeless at night on the streets, has made his parking lot a Sanctuary, in the classic understanding of those in the middle ages, when fleeing a military foe, knock on the doors of a giant Gothic cathedral and yell the words "Sanctuary," announcing to the world that they are safe. His church has taken a stand to protect homeless people who don't want to be scooped up and put in treatment or a shelter and he now allows them to make camp each night in his parking lot. He provides a security guard and a power-washer, which some of the homeless help by spraying down the lot each day.
When I read the article, my first thought was how that might affect perspective visitors and their perceived sense of safety when visiting the church. Shame on me.
That's what happens when you live each day feeling as if tomorrow is guaranteed, almost as if there is some giant FDIC in the sky that protects the safety of my little world that I have worked so hard to construct and wish to all my heart that it never has to face the real challenges of life that people all over the world will endure today and tomorrow.

Eat. Pray. Love.

I loved the book Eat Pray Love. I loved it before I read it because my beloved yoga teachers, Michelle and Madelaine, said it was a beautiful book. And they were right. I read the book during my trip to China last March.
As I read the book, I kept comparing her story to mine. Being the neurotic girl that I am, I judged her soul-searching experience as better than mine. But it was on my trip to China, when I realized that the world was a lot bigger than this Wichita Falls-girl ever imagined, I gave myself permission to be me and to let my experience be the healing experience that was for my highest good. (If only I had written a memoir of the last 5 years...then maybe I would have that best-seller too!)
I love the book even more after watching Jennifer Gilbert on Oprah today. She said something very wise: you don't have to go across the world to find yourself and to find God...you can do this wherever you are if you are willing to sit still, ask the deeper questions, and seek peace. It just seems like this is the path every human being needs to take...to sit still, ask deeper questions and seek peace. It's a noisy world that prefers we stay on the surface and seeks to chip away our contentment and replace it with feelings that we are less than.
Here's to embracing a different way of life, and, as my dear friend Margaret Ann taught me, here's to being, "AS IS."

Will he win?

It's 7:20 pm on Tuesday evening as I'm writing this blog post. That's important, because in 40 minutes I will find out if Cuban wins. See, I was home last week when Dancing with the Stars premiered and I got hooked. After one show, I feel tightly entwined with these famous people's lives to see if they win or not.

I had decided last week that I wasn't going to pull for Mark. I'm not sure on what basis except that I've often had to run on the treadmill at the gym while he sweats it out on the bike in front of me. That shouldn't be a reason not to cheer for the guy. But then last night, something changed and now I want him to win. He should at least beat Wayne Newton who looks like he might melt if he got too close to an open flame. It looks like the tipping point between Mark and Wayne, both at the bottom of the professional score, will be the public opinion poll taken last night by text, internet or phone. I came close to voting last night but I am a Verizon-girl, not AT&T, the official wireless company for Dancing with the Stars.

This past month has been interesting for me. Some changes (good changes--no need to call and check on me) have slowed me down and allowed me more time to partake in public entertainment, like television. It's been at least 2-3 years since I've watched prime time television so I kinda like knowing what the season premieres are this year and hurrying home (as if I have something important to do) to see who gets cut from this week's dance crowd.

So I may be watching a little more television, but it hasn't won me over yet. I still see such a major disconnect from how shows portray American life and how most people live. And the result of that disconnect is discontentment and that discontentment looks different in every person's life--but as a society, it tells us we are not enough -- that we need to be skinnier, pretty, funnier, hip-per, flashier and need to have more "dirty, sexy money." (the new ABC show).

I seek contentment and if I could find a television show that offered me contentment, then I would be a faithful fan. Until then, I'm content with waiting to find out if Cuban stays or goes.

9 years and counting

I knew a couple of days had passed since my last blog entry; didn't realize it had been 21 days. After two of my faithful readers expressed their personal concern for me and my absence from my beloved blog, I decided it was time to pick up the pen, or type on the keyboard, to let you know that I am alive and well.
It's been a busy month as we move towards launching UrbanLife. Our goal is to build community and deepen spirituality among young urban professionals and we have several different ways to meet this goal. One way is through our fall classes that will begin in October. We are kicking-off our classes with a community-wide Blessing of the Animals event on Sun., Oct. 7, in Reverchon Park.
With the big event less than three weeks away, it feels a little like when you've planned a party and now are waiting to see if people come. And with things like ministry, it's not just about your strategy or how well it is executed; it's also about God. It's about trusting God, and, being able to ask at every moment of the process--what is God teaching me, my leadership team, and this church about what it means to make disciples of Jesus Christ?
This month I have experienced a deeper relationship with God as I have realized my need to draw close and rely on God's strength versus my own finite self. It has been humbling, and yet in that humbleness, I have felt God's guiding presence. I'm really thankful. And I'm so excited to see what's going to happen in October with UrbanLife as we open the doors and welcome people to the ministry.
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On a separate note, I want to give a quick shot-out to my girls in our "A Little Deeper Book Club." We started our 9th year today, reviewing Jodi Picoult's book, "Nineteen Minutes." It was so good to see everyone after our annual summer break. The idea for this book club came during my second year in seminary, Fall 1997, when Stanley Hauerwas told us as part of Christian Ethics, "It's not what you read in seminary that matters, it's THAT you read when you get out of seminary." There's no better way to keep reading than to join a book club and discuss good books with other people.

Say One Kind Thing

Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.--Ephesians 4:29, from The Message translation

At this very moment, I'm making a choice. Now, it's a moment after that moment, and I'm making another choice. Now that I am starting my day, Aug. 29, 2007, at 5:55 am, I will be making choices all day long. I will choose what I allow into my mind; I will choose what emotions I dwell on in my heart, and I will choose what actions I will show the world. And throughout the day, I will be choosing what I will say to people.

Speech is taken for-granted in our society today. I see a great deal of talking but I'm not sure if communication is happening. It's very easy to ask someone, "How are you?" It's much harder to commit to really wanting to know the answer before you ask the question. It's easy to ask someone for help on your projects. It's much harder to ask them if they need your help on their projects.

If I could start a national campaign like the Random Acts of Kindness that hit a few years ago, I would call it the "Say One Kind Thing" campaign. Say One Kind Thing...when I am stuck in tunnel vision in my own life, I can often step outside of myself by practicing saying one kind thing to someone else. Saying one kind thing means I have to see that someone else in this world is offering something valuable and worthy to humankind. And I want to help build them up.

I've also found that when a behavioral pattern sets in, changing the behavior can begin with changing the way I talk. When I have found myself being snippy with my spouse, I can shift out of that by simply focusing on saying only the things that help. And if I can push past my own ego, I can usually separate that which helps and that which doesn't help.

Today, I'm making a choice to make my words a gift to those around me. Let's see how this can help. Join me. Say One Kind Thing today.

Beginnings

Incipe; dimidium facti est coepisse. Supersit Dimidium: rursum hoc incipe, et efficies.

Begin; to begin is half the work. Let half still remain; again begin this, and thou wilt have finished.

UrbanLife had a great beginning last night as the Leadership Team met for its 3rd time. This team is composed of 13 people who blindly agreed to help me figure out if and how a downtown traditional Methodist church can be engaged in ministry with uptown/downtown young urban professionals with disposable incomes and play-filled lifestyles.

For the most part, the Leadership Team didn't know one another before August. We are still learning about each other and finding out who does what and how they do it. So last night, with the church completely empty, we met in the gym to assemble "Save the Date" Reminders for the Blessing of the Animals (Oct. 7, 5:30 pm in Reverchon Park, off the Katy Trail.)

I gave them all the supplies and a couple of samples and then let them figure it out. Not only did the project get done, but we learned a lot about each other and how we do things and how we are going to work together.

Beginnings are such a creative time...so much learning about yourself and others. As my friend Linda Bush says, "Beginnings are all about time-zeros."

I'm enjoying the beginnings in my life. It reminds me that we serve a God who created this world and continues to create this day. Beginnings are always followed by endings which sometimes launch new beginnings. Learning to observe and release judgement of beginnings and endings, for me, is freedom.

With a Little Help From My Friends

I woke this morning with such deep gratitude for the people in my life. It's not easy hanging with me and all of my idiosyncrasies. This past weekend, as I received significant news within our family, the presence of my friends was like a cool front in the middle of August--grace in the midst of the reality of life. And it's the small way of being a friend that make life doable--like making the sacrifice to eat cheese fries at 9 pm with your friend just because comfort food was in order even though it is nowhere in your own nutritional plan.

I have lots of friends who were friends during a certain time of life. I admit that I am not the best at keeping up with friends (which is one of my idiosyncrasies) and I am thankful that those kinds of people who know this about me and yet still find some value in being around me exist. Because I'm not sure if I could exist without them.

I have always loved how Jesus told his peeps that they were friends...."I no longer call you strangers but friends." Jesus called his disciples to follow him. Before he called them, did they know each other or even have knowledge of each other? Here is this group of people who may not have known each other before they left everything to follow. And when it came to the end of their time together, they ate dinner together just like every other day. Jesus was sitting with them, and they were reminiscing about their work together, how they had walked 100s of miles healing people and casting out demons, scraping together food on a limited budget and then he interrupts the conversation and says, "Hey guys, we're friends."

Jesus could not have been Jesus without the people who were around him.

And my thought is that this is true still today. That Jesus can not be Jesus without the people who are around him. And even though it's a different time, I still like to think of Jesus looking at me and saying, "Hey, we're friends."

Conversing with that Lucky Girl

Throughout today, I've been thinking about my previous post, "Lucky Girl," and felt like it was somehow unfinished. I have read it about 10 times throughout today and kept wondering why it felt like something was missing or left undone in the post. And just a few minutes ago, I had that kind of aha-God moment that makes life worth living.
Here's what's missing...yes, it did take about 15 years of therapy for me to decide that there is a difference between my stuff and other's stuff and that my stuff is not inherently bad. And don't get me wrong...therapy was definitely needed. But through the process of all that talking and in the midst of my daily life choices, God also performed a miracle. I came to know who I was not by determining my own self or my own value...I came to know who I was in the light of who I am in God. I'm one of God's children, like you are, and for that matter, like those who sometimes act like baboons. That's where my worth comes from and from this place I can stand strong and be the person God wants me to be. From this place, I can feel in my core what life abundant is really about--

--and yet we live in a world where too many people have no idea what this means and instead live a life of constriction. And this is why I do what I do.

Lucky Girl

A friend recently shared what has become a tricky issue in her family. As her kids are getting older, they can tell the difference between people's behavior that is appropriate and behavior that is not appropriate. Recently, this discernment was applied to members of their extended family.

Upon returning from the home of this relative the daughter announced to her mom that she never wanted to go there again because they are mean and rude and hurtful. After asking her daughter several questions to ensure nothing inappropriate happened, she and her husband realized that their children were beginning to see the lack of emotional intelligence exercised by these family members, a problem that has been an issue in the family for many, many years.

As my friend talked about this situation, I suggested that it was a great sign that her daughter, still pre-teen, could tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy emotional reactions (like when the emotion doesn't match the trigger event). Furthermore, the daughter realized what was her stuff (her not being respectful) and what wasn't her stuff (the person's extreme reaction). Somehow I did not gain that skill when I was young and spent the formative years in my life thinking that unhealthy emotional behavior displayed around me was somehow about me so I internalized it all...

...And I spent the next 15 years in therapy. Many dollars later, now I can tell the difference between what's mine and what's yours (most times...). And you can even fly off the handle and act like a baboon's ass to me and for the most part I can hear what's necessary to hear behind the emotion, have compassion for you displaying your baboon-side to the world, and then walk away all the while chanting to myself, "I'm good enough...I'm smart enough...and gosh darn it, people like me."

Lucky Girl.

Casting Call

Tonight, I was an actress in the game of life, starring in my favorite genre of movies which is the indy-film that brings together stranger's lives tying them together by one thread that moves among them all. Crash is a more recent example of this genre while Magnolia is an older example.

Here's my story: I went to a hospital tonight to pray with a family who just had a baby. Because I'm at a new church and don't really know people yet, I was glad to make this visit as this is one of the few families I know (I worked on a project with the husband my second week at church.) I had a great visit with the mom, who was alone. After the visit, as I walked to the elevators on her floor, there was a 2-year-old screaming in the middle of the hallway next to the waiting room. I peeked in to see another set of parents with the hospital-plastic-cradle so I congratulated them on the new baby. The dad said thanks and as I walked off, he asked if I had change for a dollar. Their 2-year-old was in the middle of the hallway having a tantrum and they wanted to give-in to his request for a treat from the machine but his only dollar bill would not work. So I dug through my purse and found 4 quarters and gave it to him and told him to keep his dollar.

As I got on the elevator, I realized that was not a smart decision as I now had no cash to leave the parking garage. The elevator stopped at the next floor and this really stylish young woman got on the elevator. Normally, I do not talk to people on the elevators, but as I was digging through my purse hoping to find a stray dollar, I mentioned that I had no money for the parking garage but hopefully the parking attendant would accept my business card and let me out with no payment because I'm a minister.

"You're a minister?" she replied as the elevator doors opened to the 1st floor. We both exited the elevator and walked in the same direction.

"Yes, at least that's what they call me but don't worry, I'm not the 'usual' minister," I answered in my usual disarming way so that people don't think I'm one of "those" ministers.

"It's strange that here you are, a minister," she said quietly as we walked the hallway.

"Are you okay?" I replied back to her.

"I'm having a lot of spiritual confusion right now and my baby is in the hospital," she explained. "I was just in my baby's room praying that God would give me some direction."

"Well, it sounds like God is on your side because I normally don't talk to people in elevators but I did for you, so do you want to talk?"

We chatted for a bit and she told me how she was really confused by some spiritual experiences she had been having, including visions, and how she wasn't sure if it was from God and that it was all very confusing ot her. We talked about the usual things: stress from having a sick child, sleep deprivation from being in the hospital, and, that ultimately, God is a God of goodness and peace and that she can pray to God to help give her peace until she can better understand what is happening to her. I told her about a friend of mine who is a Christian and experiences visions and we exchanged phone numbers.

We both knew that tonight wasn't random; that everything happened at just the right moment to get both of us on that elevator, having the conversation we were having. I told her that tonight's sequence of events is a reminder that God is with her, even in the confusion. And when it was time for me to go, she asked if she could have a hug. So we hugged.

As I turned to walk away, she quietly said, "Before I got on that elevator, I had no hope. Now I feel hopeful. Thank you."

Wow. Thank you God for letting me be an actress tonight in your divine play.

Bookends

In my last post, I admired a colleague of mine for her ability to set an intention. It was not easy for her to come to the decision she made to fulfill her intention, but she came to the decision and bravely faced the trade-offs. And that's what this life is really about anyway--trade-offs.

The bookend for the end of this week is that tonight, I celebrate a friend of mine who also set an intention. When I met her 8 years ago, she had no idea how the "hows" would happen or even be possible, but that didn't make her give up her dream of helping women. Tonight, I celebrate my friend who reaps the first fruits of her labor as she is conferred the degree Doctorate of Philosophy. I celebrate that my friend will now be positioned to help women sort through their lives and create wholeness from the context of our fractured world.

It really is the small things that both of these women did each day that allowed them to be who they are today. When I am doing small things, it's sometimes hard to remember why the small things really matter. My marathon training is teaching me this skill. This is my 3rd marathon and I think I'm just getting it this time around--It's the small runs that happen day-in an day-out and it's the small choices I make to eat healthy and go to bed early that will allow me to cross the finish line in 17 weeks with a smile on my face and joy inside my body and filling my soul. It's not about some super-training schedule that makes me look good in front of those unique human beings called runners...it's about me and my running shoes--and my intention.

Every person has an intention, even the ones who look like they have no intention cell in their body. I think people aren't aware that their intentions are defined and shaped by the constricting confines of a consumerist world. And if we only knew the truth, then we would be free.

Tomorrow is a good day--the Leadership Team for UrbanLife meets for the first time as a group. They are 11 very trusting people who have agreed to help build this ministry with me. My intention was 12 on the Leadership Team, so I'm waiting for God to do what God does best--have some holy humor at my expense--reminding me that I'm human and that all I have to do in this world is to Trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understandings.

I think I can.

Intention

I like the statement, "I am my intention wrapped here in this flesh and blood" from the title song from Al Gore's documentary "An Inconvenient Truth" (sung by Melissa Etheridge). The practice of setting intentions, meditating on intentions and visualizing intentions has increasingly become more of who I am and how I live my life. It seems to be working for me. There is a spiritual moment for me in the middle of the "Warrior 2" yoga pose where it feels like my body, mind and spirit are aligned and moving in one seamless direction. It is a fleeting moment that happens at the point where my brain lets go and my body just is.

Orthodox Christianity is still wrestling with what intention means and how to speak about a practice that seems to be eastern in nature. The cover article in my latest preaching magazine is devoted to maligning those who believe in one aspect of setting intention--called the Law of Attraction--which has been brought into pop culture by the movie, "The Secret." Sure, we aren't supposed to believe that God exists to serve my needs, just as Paul instructed the church in Ephesus, "If you sow to your own flesh, you will reap corruption from the flesh; but if you sow to the Spirit, you will reap eternal life from the Spirit."

Compare this, though, to what Paul wrote to the church in Colossia, "Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Keep on doing the things that you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you."

The Greek word for "think" is from the verb, "logizimai" which means to consider, take into account, weigh, meditate on, or to determine, purpose or decide. The Greek Lexicon also says this word deals with reality, "If I 'logizomai or reckon that my bank account has $25 in it, it has $25 dollars in it. Otherwise I'm deceiving myself. This word refers to facts not suppositions."

It seems that there is a connection between thinking on these things (setting intention) and manifesting these things in life. It seems like what we think about could become who we are...back to that phrase, what goes in also comes out. What if our thinking does shape who we become. Probably doesn't happen overnight. Maybe not even this year. But slowly over time. What we are thinking--or perhaps most notably what we aren't thinking--will eventually become the reality of our lives.

I say all this to say that my colleague clergywoman friend announced today that she is taking a family-leave of absence to raise her children. And I'm so excited for her. I think this will be a great opportunity and she is blessed to be able to make this choice. For many families, there is not the financial option to have a one-career family, and for other women, they are the only parent in the family. I applaud her because she has considered the magnitude of parenthood and discerned what is best for her family and she is setting her intention to understand parenthood as discipleship.

It seems to me that the process of setting intention, especially when it comes to the decision of whether or not to have kids, is something missing in American society today. What would it be like for parents to consider what it means to receive a soul from heaven to be embodied here on earth and to set their intention for how they will parent before they become parents? Maybe this happens more than I think. If so, then why do we go to the minister for pre-marital counseling and the medical doctor for pre-natal counseling?

And what does parenting look like if the goal is to hear God say at the end of your life, "Well done, good and faithful parent." What if steward was from the Greek word for parent? (It's not, but if it was, wow, it would change a lot of how we think about Christian duty).

Enough for today. Best wishes to my colleague and friend. And to all mothers out there who wrestle with this very personal life decision, may you set your intention and find that "Warrior 2" place of harmony as you live out your intention, whatever that might be.

BrainPower

My paternal grandparents, Ralph and Rachel Self (pictured above), died from Alzheimer's so the subject is close to my family's heart, especially my oldest brother. He recently reported to me about a program on NPR about Alzheimer's. On the program, the researchers discussed cases of elderly people who had autopsies after death. When the autopsy results revealed the person had Alzheimer's, the families were shocked because the person didn't die like an Alzheimer's patient. They had kept their memory, faculties, and physical activity level up until death, and, died from a disease other than Alzheimer's. The researchers wanted to know the common link among these people. Through family interviews, they found that these people had in common a low-fat, low-sugar diet (another reason why we should be eating healthy) AND as they aged, they kept their brain active and stimulated through memory games and brain games.

I was thinking about this report today while sitting in a noontime Bible study, part of a series on Loving God with Your Mind. Today the teacher discussed the value of becoming still, practicing silence and trying out solitude. She also suggested that there is great value in memorizing Scripture.

In my glory days of being Baptist, Scripture memory was one of our youth group habits. Scriptures were given on Sunday and it was expected that you would recite them from memory the following Sunday. I didn't realize what this habit was doing to me until I went to seminary and knew more Scripture from memory than most of my classmates. And since seminary, I have called upon those Scriptures and have been thankful for those Baptist days.

But I haven't made Scripture memory a primary part of my personal spiritual life or my public teaching life since seminary even though I know the value of the Scriptures I memorized more than 17 years ago. I thought about why I haven't incorporated this into who I am and the only reason I can come up with is that I've been spiritually lazy. That's not a good reason. So I'm adding it back into my life. It's just too important and it really is a waste of the mind that God gave me not to commit God's words to memory. If there was such a thing as spiritual Alzheimer's, then I probably would have it as I have not been exercising my mind.

The teacher today mentioned that she has been memorizing the book of Philippians. The entire book! Her goal is to recite the book from memory! That's a spiritual discipline, a habit, that will give her more than just a badge of honor; it will give her God's word imprinted on her mind and heart.

I mentioned in my last blog post that if John Wesley were alive today he would be a life coach. Why? Life coaches help you develop practices so that you are able to achieve more than you thought possible. Wesley helped the people who believed in him develop spiritual practices so that they could grow closer to God. As the teacher said today, you didn't play piano scales so that at your recital all you can play are scales. You play the scales so that when the performance comes, you can play Bach. Scripture memory is like that. When life comes, I don't have memorized Scripture, I have God's word on my tongue. Now that will draw me closer to God.

Since I began this post talking about my grandparents, I will end this post with a memory I recalled today about my grandmother. My grandmother relied on the Bible. I'm not sure all the details, but I think her faith and the Bible helped calm her nerves and keep her on the right mental path. She always spoke to me about Scriptures and she often quoted from memory. I recently looked through a Bible study book she gave me many years ago on Ruth and Esther. Inside was a piece of paper with her handwriting: "I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life. God gave me Life that I might enjoy all things." Thanks Grandma. I love you and miss you.

UrbanLife Ministry enters Phase 2

Over lunch with two great, smart and wise people today, I commented that the developing concept of UrbanLife becomes more incarnate everyday. I'm an ideas-and-vision person and I thrive in this stage of the game. But even for me, this feels really good to be moving UrbanLife out of my head and giving it structure, leadership, focus and direction.

If it worked for God to have The Word become flesh and live among us, then there must be something to the work of taking an idea and making it real and fleshy. (Not that I'm claiming that this ministry is the next best thing to Jesus...maybe sliced bread, but not the holy one.)

Here are some fleshy updates about UrbanLife:

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  UrbanLife has a mission statement (or a vision, depending on how you define the two things) -- UrbanLife seeks to build community and deepen spirituality among young urban professionals while helping them attain God's highest ideals for their careers, finances, relationships, self-growth, and connection to the world (mission and environment).


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  We are entering the development phase of the virtual home for UrbanLife--a fully functional cutting edge website that will be interactive, informative and inspirational. A leading national company is working on this project--SiteOrganics.com--and it is the generosity of the people at St. Andrew who are making this possible.


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  The first programming cycle for UrbanLife will begin mid-October and run for 4-6 weeks. The kick-off for this first programming cycle--a community-wide Blessing of the Pets--will occur Sun., Oct. 7, at 5:30 pm in Reverchon Park, off of the Katy Trail.


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  Plans are in the making now for an on-going Sunday morning class led by me for young, urban professionals. Cell/home groups will be formed out of this large class.


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  The branding of this ministry is in full development as well as logo development. Can't wait till I get to share it with you.

As this ministry begins to take more structure, I spent some time today reflecting on what leadership means and how it is best practiced in the unique culture of church life. This new experience will test and push me to become a more effective leader and in the words of my mentor Jim Dorff, it is through the power of the Holy Spirit that my effectiveness can be transformed into excellence in the kingdom of God. (I like relying on God, Jim...thanks for the reminder!)

One of the people at lunch today was Don McMinn with the Leaders Summit. I am very impressed with how Leaders Summit is organized and what they offer corporations, individuals and religious groups (the quote above is from their website). Others have come across this connection realizing that the best leader in our world today is a servant leader. I believe that developing leadership skills, however you serve with whatever job title, is part of what it means to becoming a Jesus-follower in this world today.

Want to assess your leadership skills? Take the Leaders Summit's free assessment by clicking here.

In my next blog posting, I will tell you more about why I think if John Wesley were alive today he would be a life coach.