After 14 weeks of being home bound, Troy and I began our return to the land of the living this past weekend. After the beautiful and mystifying sonogram appointment on Friday morning, we anticipated the wedding rehearsal for Brittany Meyer and Ray Mussachio. I had the honor of co-officiating the wedding with Father Jim from Prince of Peace Catholic Church in Plano. The rehearsal was perfect and it was so good to see some old friends from St. Andrew. We celebrated the rehearsal at dinner at LaHacienda. I loved watching Ray's parents and Brittany's parents at the dinner. Their excitement and joy for their kids glowed!
The wedding was Saturday evening--everything was wonderful. My message to them was simple...Marriage is not a game of perfect; Marriage is a game of forgiveness. And God is now giving them a lifetime to play the game. Become good at it, and life will be so much easier.
There was so much joy at the wedding and the reception that I went home so happy...when Sunday morning came way too early, I still felt the joy from the night before.
Church on Sunday morning was a big day--Stewardship Sunday for the 2008 budget. After church, Troy and I met Leeanne and Charlotte at the Meyerson to hear the music of Harry Potter....then...it was time for First Church's Fall Carnival. By the time I got home last night around 7:30 pm, I was exhausted. I was so tired that when my body woke-up for its nightly 3 am hot flash early this Monday morning, I couldn't even get out of bed to deal with it.
We had several opportunities this weekend to watch parents in different life stages. Doug and Suzan gave their daughter away in marriage while parents at the Fall Carnival had their little ones in his/her first Halloween costumes. I've always heard that when you become a parent, your perspective on life changes. It's changing for me...I so want to be the best parent I can be and raise a healthy child who knows how incredible and amazing he/she is simply because they were created by God.
You know, I remember when I was 14 or 15 I became interested in being a children's minister. At the time, I was Baptist and this was the only job available to my gender. I wanted to be a children's minister because I felt called to help little kids know how incredible, amazing and gifted they are by God. As a minister today, the same thing drives me...how do I communicate to adults, who are so serious and focused and determined, that they have been destined for joy and positioned for peace?
4 comments:
Your question, "how do I communicate to adults, who are so serious and focused and determined, that they have been destined for joy and positioned for peace?" I think the key is to give them what they need. Next question, what do they need?
Number one, I think they long for intimacy. They are getting to the point where they realize that 'things' do not bring joy & peace -- that relationships are needed.
Most 'intimacies' in today's world develop where they work. They work together with their fellow employees to make real accomplishments. So it seems that the concept of a 'team' trying to accomplish something (outside their job) would be a breeding ground for 'Christian' intimacies. The team would need to decide on some service that could be accomplished. What service would they have a passion for -- environmentalism? anti-war activism? immigrant reform? helping the homeless? preventing child abuse? preventing cruelty to animals? mentoring kids? Once the purpose of the team is decided -- go full force and accomplish something. Having played on lots of sports teams, my 'intimate' friends tended to be my teammates. Nothing wrong with sports either, but I think working for a cause brings more joy than playing a game for a win.
One thing seems true; the 20's & 30's (like everyone else) need to be accepted and met where they are currently -- which is probably not too closely aligned with traditional Christian behavior. If they need intimacy and their sex hormones are raging, they naturally will end up in bed together. They need a group where they can talk about dating and sexual relationships. Most leaders find it hard to meet them at this level and deal with 'what they need'. The 20's & 30's don't know how to find 'love' or if they ever will; they don't know how to deal with breakups and divorces; they don't know why they shouldn't have sex or get 'wasted'; they don't understand spiritual intimacy.
As Christians, we must ask the questions, have them dwell on it and talk on it and come up with satisfying answers. The 'church' may not be the best place for these communications. Churches do not follow sociological trends, they stick to their rituals and traditions. (Rituals and traditions work well for those already in the church, but those are not the people we are dealing with.) The 20's & 30's don't want to be lectured to (what we call sermons). They need to discover and be part of the process of experiencing Christian love -- not trying to intellectually understand all the nuances (I feel exposed without spell-check).
I would start with only one bible passage and one sermon, "Love God and love your neighbors and enemies." Of course as they become more mature Christians, they will 'need' intellectual stimuli; but, we have to start with the basics. I would see a first 'class' having the purpose of describing different spiritual philosophies -- how is Christianity different? -- how is Methodism different? -- how is First Churh different? -- how can they become the person they were meant to be?
JiM
Everything about the wedding was perfect! We are so glad you were able to share that day with us. We will do Gloria's soon and share pictures of Maui!
Your and Troy's presence added to the joy of the weekend!
I do not connect with the oft used language of "giving away your daughter"....at a wedding. Instead I choose to embrace the thought of witnessing my daughter (and new son)embarking on another aspect of their life journey.
As you will soon feel there is no way you could truly ever "give your child away."
I'm not sure that question was actually meant to be answered by anyone else except for the writer.
"The 20's & 30's don't know how to find 'love' or if they ever will; they don't know how to deal with breakups and divorces; they don't know why they shouldn't have sex or get 'wasted'; they don't understand spiritual intimacy."
First of all, I found love when I was 21, got married when we were 27 (after living in sin and having your so-called fake intimacy), we now have a beautiful 14 month old daughter..and we are happily married.
Secondly, I don't think anyone should make wild claims like, "People in their 20's and 30's don't know what spiritual intimacy is...and so on". That's just horrific and pompous. I would have to disagree strongly with that. I'm sure Mother Thereasa would as well. After all, she became a nun when she was 17...but I guess she was not in her twenties...so that doesn't count, right?
And yes, I am 31 and do know why I should not got wasted. I'm not a moron.
Most of us are professionals...we're teachers, lawyers, medical professionals, mother's, artists, architects, work in sales...we are not all obsessed with finding love and taking drugs.
I don't think it's polite to dumb-down an audience.
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