Vital Friends

In memory of Rev. Bill Stephenson, founding member, Wesley Study Group

Here it is: the end of the day of the end of the week of the end of my first month at First Church. What did I do to celebrate on Friday evening? I cleaned the kitchen and took the trash to the dumpster. And, I am writing this blog entry. Sounds like the kind of life you can only dream about.

Today's Topic: Friendship....I attended the funeral today for Rev. Bill Stephenson, who is a founding member of the Wednesday morning book group, Wesley Study Group. I joined the study group two years ago. Bill helped found the group in 1956. (Click to read the article I wrote for the UMR in March 2007 upon the occasion of WSG's honoring Bill with a hymn commissioned in his honor.)

Group member Rev. Vic Casad spoke on behalf of the WSG and on behalf of the lifelong friendship between Bill and Vic's father, Dr. Gordon Casad. (By the way, Vic is an awesome preacher--my first time to hear him preach.) Vic described his father's friendship with Bill as being a "vital friendship," a term recently coined by Gallup to sum up its research findings on the importance of friendship.

Here's a quote from the book's PR that describes what their research found:
(The author's) team's discoveries produced Vital Friends, a book that challenges long-held assumptions people have about their relationships. And the team's landmark discovery — that people who have a "best friend at work" are seven times as likely to be engaged in their job — is sure to rattle the structure of organizations around the world.

Vital Friends suggests that success or failure on projects at work can be directly linked to whether or not the person has a best friend who is a consultant, confidant and even a critic to walk alongside with as projects and careers develop. Contrast this with another study I heard a few years ago that said if someone has more than one close friendship than they are beating the national average, meaning that most of America has only one or less close friends.

Wow. No wonder loneliness is the greatest disease in America. And no wonder we are so physically unhealthy. It may take scientists a couple of decades to prove it, but our mental and emotional states manifest in our physical health.

Wonder why it is so hard to make friends in America? I want the end of my life to be like the end of Bill's. Bill loved even when it wasn't the most convenient for him. And he cared about others success. As Vic said in his sermon, a vital friend is someone who cares about his friend's success as much as he cares about his own success. Once again, there is a big, gigantic flashing arrow pointing out the path towards healing in our society. Yet, we get scared to take that first step. Wonder why.

Well, the kitchen is clean, the trash is at the dumpster, and my blog is written. Time to read. I'm starting the latest book for Wesley Study Group...the Kite Runner's newest release. Thanks Bill for helping start this group. It has made all the difference in my ministry. Blessings...Kathryn