Mirror, Mirror

Today's blog is all about appearances. If vanity were only a sin, we might be okay. But be careful: it is a SEDUCTIVE sin that wants you to think that you, right now, are not enough. Here's what happened to me today:

I had an appointment today with a talented photographer. I needed updated headshots. As I walked out of my office, with my 3 outfits waiting for me in my car, I asked the summer college intern Leslie to pray for my hair. Leslie just had formal portraits made and she knows the crisis of it being a bad hair day on picture day. I had no idea that this event was about to be way larger than any hair crisis.

The photographer took the photos and sat down at his computer to pick the best in each category: casual, suit and robe. It's not easy looking at 15 shots of me in the same outfit and deciding which one is the best. We did narrow it down to one shot and he opens this picture with a different program. He starts clicking different tools to touch-up the photo. This wasn't touching up, though. This was more like Extreme Makeover for the Headshot.

Here's a list of the "tweaking":

1. Erased my moles (1 on eyelid, 2 on nose and 3 on neck).

2. Erased my scars (2 on my forehead thanks to older brothers).

3. Waxed my eyebrows.

4. Filled in one thin eyebrow.

5. Smoothed over my teenage acne scars on my chin.

6. Increased the height of one eye so it doesn't look like I'm winking.

7. Erased lines on my neck.

8. Erased lines under my eyes.

9. Lightened under my eyes to get rid of the darker spots.

10. Whitened my teeth.

11. Overall brightened the picture.

12. Added more contrast to the picture.

13. Added a feather filter that made the whole thing look Streisand "softer."

14. Erased the fly-away hairs on my head.

15. Erased a piece of my bangs that was hanging too low across my forehead.

16. Evened out the coloring on my neck.

17. Warmed the coloring on my forehead.

As I watched him work his magic, I kept saying this mantra, "I'm okay, I love myself, I accept myself." As he painted the picture, we talked about how the advertising industry does not portray real-life women and that even models, in all of their natural beauty, are not considered good enough. Yet consumers aren't protesting and demanding anything different. When he was finished with his retouches, he gave me the option to easily undo all the changes with one click and choose to go with the picture as is. He put them side by side, the untouched and the retouched, and asked me to choose. Which one did I choose? Despite every part of me that wanted to have the original picture, I chose the retouched picture. WHAT IS IT WITH ME BUYING INTO OUR SOCIETY'S DESCRIPTION OF WHAT IS BEAUTIFUL? And all of this happened the day after getting a call from a Youth Minister in the area asking me to come and speak to his youth girls about body image and eating disorders.

A video was released recently on youtube (posted above) that shows a model being prepared for a shoot and then shows how the photo was "tweaked" to get the final picture for the billboard. It is an amazing process to watch.

As I watched my picture being tweaked today, I saw in the finished product what I looked like when I was 13 -- smooth skin, no wrinkles, no lines, no splotches, no moles (why do they grow with age?). It was also interesting to see this picture side-by-side with the untouched picture and realize that when I think of myself, I see the 13-year-old. Deep down, I try to deny that I'm aging.

When did we become so afraid of aging that we created an industry, continue to throw billions of billions of dollars at it, to somehow convince us that we will never grow old, never age, and if we try hard enough, maybe stay forever young?

I know what you are thinking....you would never get a picture retouched, that you would always be your authentic self....yada, yada, yada....that's right, go ahead and say that and just to save you the time, here is Julian's email so that you can have your touched-up headshot too. He really is a great photographer, because truth be told, before I knew he could retouch, I was very pleased with the before-- Julian.Noel@gmail.com. The "after" was like icing on the cake. I think I licked the plate clean.