Peanut Butter + Chocolate

This evening should have been about me and the gym. Our youth minister at First Church offered us taste tests this afternoon of the limited edition Reese's Elvis Peanut Butter and Banana Creme Cups. Something as healthy as a banana held hostage in the fat and sugar of peanut butter cups is a crime against fruit. So, I should have been at the gym tonight doing time on the tredmill.

But I wasn't. This sore throat thing is still zapping me so I stayed home to "rest." So I watched television. I started about 6:30 pm and haven't stopped yet...it's about 9 pm and I can't figure out how to turn it off. I have not watched television in months. I had no idea that television is all about the search for the newest this or greatest that. In one evening alone, I've witnessed the search for the top model, the best impersonator, the greatest dancer, the funniest stand-up comic, the newest inventor and to cap it all off, I watched the Dallas bartender on that song-lyrics show that is a hybrid of Millionaire and What's My Line? Go ahead, fill in the lyric, "Now I've had the time of my life and __ ___ __ ___ __ ___."

If I ate Reese's Elvis Peanut Butter and Banana Creme Cups on a consistent and regular basis, I would be a little worried about my body receiving its nutritional needs. I would also worry about my hips, another story though. What I watched on television tonight was the intellectual equivalent of Reese's Elvis Peanut Butter and Banana Creme Cups. And I wonder about the society whose primary source of nutrition is this intellectual food.

The phone lines are still open...so I think I will get all my votes cast for the next greatest fly by night star.

Why don't they have America's Search for the Greatest Preacher? What a great show this could be. People would finally see that some preachers are more human than the average bear and some preachers really are just jerks. The show could highlight the preachers talk-trashing each other not knowing they were being secretly recorded for airing in that evening's program.....A great episode would be the diva preacher walking out of rehearsal because he doesn't like his makeup....And you could hiss along with the studio audience as they offered a sympathy groan when a preacher is given next week's Scripture and it is the "hard" Scripture....Best of all, the show would feature the Southern Baptist preachers all ganging-up and standing in the corner staring down the women preachers... I can just hear those male Baptist preacher boys exclaiming, "(click here at your own risk)".

To quote Alf, I kill me. This fantasy was worth all the empty calories.