A good weekend

After 14 weeks of being home bound, Troy and I began our return to the land of the living this past weekend. After the beautiful and mystifying sonogram appointment on Friday morning, we anticipated the wedding rehearsal for Brittany Meyer and Ray Mussachio. I had the honor of co-officiating the wedding with Father Jim from Prince of Peace Catholic Church in Plano. The rehearsal was perfect and it was so good to see some old friends from St. Andrew. We celebrated the rehearsal at dinner at LaHacienda. I loved watching Ray's parents and Brittany's parents at the dinner. Their excitement and joy for their kids glowed!

The wedding was Saturday evening--everything was wonderful. My message to them was simple...Marriage is not a game of perfect; Marriage is a game of forgiveness. And God is now giving them a lifetime to play the game. Become good at it, and life will be so much easier.

There was so much joy at the wedding and the reception that I went home so happy...when Sunday morning came way too early, I still felt the joy from the night before.

Church on Sunday morning was a big day--Stewardship Sunday for the 2008 budget. After church, Troy and I met Leeanne and Charlotte at the Meyerson to hear the music of Harry Potter....then...it was time for First Church's Fall Carnival. By the time I got home last night around 7:30 pm, I was exhausted. I was so tired that when my body woke-up for its nightly 3 am hot flash early this Monday morning, I couldn't even get out of bed to deal with it.

We had several opportunities this weekend to watch parents in different life stages. Doug and Suzan gave their daughter away in marriage while parents at the Fall Carnival had their little ones in his/her first Halloween costumes. I've always heard that when you become a parent, your perspective on life changes. It's changing for me...I so want to be the best parent I can be and raise a healthy child who knows how incredible and amazing he/she is simply because they were created by God.

You know, I remember when I was 14 or 15 I became interested in being a children's minister. At the time, I was Baptist and this was the only job available to my gender. I wanted to be a children's minister because I felt called to help little kids know how incredible, amazing and gifted they are by God. As a minister today, the same thing drives me...how do I communicate to adults, who are so serious and focused and determined, that they have been destined for joy and positioned for peace?

Expectations

Here it is--the first photo of Baby Ransdell. I have never been able to identify a baby in a sonogram picture. When friends showed me their pictures, I would smile and be excited with them even though I could not make heads-or-tails of the picture. Now that I have had my first sonogram, it makes a little more sense to me what the picture is all about. Everything is looking good for the Baby Ransdell. Our due date is now April 27.

Leadership

I attended a Leadership seminar this week at the iPlace in Grapevine. The iPlace is the physical location of Leaders Summit. Leaders Summit trains people from the non-profit and the for-profit world on the issues of Leadership. I highly recommend the experience for ministers. The value I received was well worth the time and financial commitment made by both the church and me.
Something that really impacted me was how they described vision. So often, having a vision means having some grand view of the horizon (which is true, that's long-range vision), but there is also something called mid-range and short-range vision. One of my spiritual gifts is the long range vision. I believe God has gifted me with the ability to communicate vision through teaching and preaching. However, it is my spiritual discipline to execute the vision. Most ministers can see the kingdom but we aren't sure what to do to bring about the kingdom (execution). One of the strength of Leaders Summit is that participants are pushed to examine and deepen and strengthen execution. A good vision, poorly executed, is not fun for anyone.
This workshop came at a great time for me. I've had a hard and challenging past 13 weeks physically and I feel like I'm beginning to hit my stride again. I feel like I have been refocused for the challenge that is before me...building ministry in the Uptown/Downtown area. Simply put, it is crazy that the church has abandoned people between the ages of 22-36 when they are making the biggest decisions of their life--it's past time for the church to be relevant and connected to those who are choosing things that matter to God.

What a Difference a Blessing Makes

I received this email from a church member today. She brought her new beagle puppy to the Blessing of the Animals and reports that the blessing "took." (Human names have been deleted but Yoda is the name of the beagle puppy.)

Dear Kathryn, We adopted an adorable little beagle puppy about 3 months ago. My boys (ages 4 and 6) absolutely LOVE him and as much as I hate to admit it my husband and I have fallen in love with him as well. His name is YODA. We brought Yoda and his cousin Maxie to the blessing of the animals a few weeks ago and we all had a blast. Yesterday Yoda went to the vet to be neutered. A very simple every day procedure for the vet, nothing complicated. We were to pick him up at 4:30. My husband called around 1ish to check on Yoda and they said the vet would have to call him back. The vet eventually called him back to tell him that Yoda had gone into cardiac arrest on the table, his heart had stopped and they had to do CPR and compressions, pump him full of some drugs, etc......................for several minutes it was touch and go. They weren't sure if he had blood in his lungs from the compressions, how long his brain had gone w/out oxygen etc......so we really didn't know what to expect when we picked him up. We went to pick up Yoda last night around 7:30 (they had kept him the rest of the day for observation) and you can imagine our relief when he came running in wagging his tail with lots of kisses for the entire family. As the vet was explaining what had happened that day, he was completely at a loss for what had transpired in the operating room. He said there was absolutely no reason for this to have happened and he was stumped but very grateful that Yoda was ok. My 6 year old, sings in the Carol Choir and had on his Blessing of the Animals shirt (coincidence??). The vet and his assistant inquired as to what Blessing of the Animals was. We explained what it was, talked about our church and their new mission with UrbanLife. I said kind of joking "looks like his blessing didn't take". The vet very quickly said "I totally disagree. Do you know Yoda actually died on that operating table today. I think his blessing definitely worked and it ended up saving his life". Well from the entire family, thank you for bringing the Blessing of the Animals to FUMC Dallas and for Blessing our Yoda. It looks like his blessing ended up saving his life.

Blessings

I am honored each year to offer the invocation at the Komen Dallas Race for the Cure Luncheon sponsored and hosted by Strasburger & Price, LL,. This is the seventh year of the luncheon. Each year I am inspired and encouraged by the stories of survivors, the reports of leaps made in research, and the dollar totals raised worldwide to find a cure.
This year, a scientist who works for Komen spoke about two counties with the highest rate of breast cancer in America—Marin County, CA, and Madison County, MS. As a researcher, he wondered, “Why these counties and not some other county?”
Listening to him, I felt relieved that my address is Dallas County and not Marin or Madison counties. In actuality, though, breast cancer does not discriminate based on geography, race, age, income status or religious preference.
The fact that a woman in my family has not had breast cancer is either a gift of good health or luck of the genetic gene pool. As a friend who died too young of lymphoma used to say, “Health is a halo worn by the unaware.”
How do I become aware of all the halos I wear and blessings I receive? When it comes to counting my blessings, I wonder sometimes, “Why was I given so much and others given so little?” When amazing opportunities come my way, I wonder what is unique to my life.
I have not found an answer to my questions, yet, but there is a story that keeps me aligned with what God wants for my life. It is the Parable of the Talents, a story about what we’ve been given in life, including financial resources, and what we do with what we’ve been given.
This parable also teaches me that no matter what amount or level a person has been given, every person possesses the gift of giving. Utilizing that gift of giving means you have to do the hard work of identifying a need that can only be filled by someone like you and then taking that first step and doing something—anything—to generate momentum.
I have found that the way to identify a need is to pray. Ask God to show you a need. Then pray some more. Keep praying once that need is revealed. I often pray this one sentence: “Break my heart with what breaks yours” (from Hosanna by Hillsong).
Imagine the blessings that could be poured out on this world if each one of us took seriously the task of praying to be given a God-sized need that only we could meet. I invite you to pray. Then pray some more. Then keep praying.
Finally, being a woman is the greatest risk factor for having breast cancer. Health is a halo worn by the unaware, but, women can stay aware by doing monthly breast self-exams and keeping up with annual mammograms. Don’t wait.

I love teaching

UrbanLife classes began this week ... my first time to teach since I arrived at First Church. I'm really enjoying the people in the classes and the topics we are discussing. Tonight was a girl's group and we discussed perfectionism. Of course, only a handful of women deal with this subject ;)

I was so blessed while teaching to remember that I don't have to change what I believe about myself...but I do have to change what I believe God believes about me. And if I start there--what God believes about me--that will eventually change my mind and heart about my beliefs about myself.

When I can change my mind and heart, then that will bring about changes in my body and soul. For me, perfectionism held me back from truly understanding God's purpose for my life. As God broke the stronghold of perfectionism in my life, I was able to understand what Paul said to the Galatians -- Christ came to bring us freedom.

Is Perfectionism a by-produce of our easy, comfortable luxurious lifestyle in the US? Probably so. When I have traveled to other parts of the world (and sometimes the other parts of this city) where people fight for survival, somehow the issue of my thighs or latest wrinkle or how I look a pair of jeans takes a backseat.

I want to give a shout-out to my friend and colleague Paula Miltenberger, PhD, who co-presented with me tonight. We've had quite a journey since I met her in 1999 and I feel so blessed that God has brought our paths together again.

Want to find out if you a perfectionist? Here is an online quiz from Discovery Health.

1 Corinthians 10:23

Regarding yesterday's post about the Fair Food.  It's about 12:45 am early Friday morning.  And let me just tell you what is going through my mind right about now as I'm communing in my bathroom....1 Corinthians 10:23.  This translation is from God's Word (no idea its credibility as a translation but it's what I found when I googled the text).

"Someone may say, 'I'm allowed to do anything,' but not everything is helpful.  I'm allowed to do anything, but not everything encourages growth."

Fair Day 2007

When I "interviewed" at First Church (knowing that as Methodist ministers there is no such thing as an interview), I was told about the annual tradition of Fair Day. The staff goes to the Fair for a long lunch and eats their way through the park. Today was Fair Day.
See for yourself all we ate.

• Note that not pictured is the fried banana pudding and funnel cake with apple pie topping.
• The Fried Cosmopolitan, on our list, was already sold out by noon.
• Apologies to Burton, our Episcopalian intern who is half-in the group shot in front of the Corny Dog Stand.
• Eddie is eating a chocolate-dipped banana (it was good but a little too sweet).
• Not pictured are the Pepto Bismol tablets enjoyed by Vance and the Tums enjoyed by me.

Pictures from Fair Day

Explanation of the First Rule of Book Club

So maybe I did not explain well the First Rule of Book Club to the general blog population. It's not that we don't read the books, it's just that we want people to come to book club and share in the conversation and insights even if they did not get the chance to start or finish the book. Sometimes life gets too busy to get the book read, but we still want to see everyone. And, our goal isn't critical analysis of the book itself, but drawing out larger themes and how the story in the book informs the story of our lives as Christians.

Yesterday's book fell in the category of hard to finish. The story line is moving, haunting, funny and beautiful. The author, though, drew on her talents as a nature writer which can be challenging to read IF nature writing is not your thing.

The best thing about the book we read is that it offered a timeless reminder that left to our own devices and poisoned by inhumane thinking, humans can be animals. The book we read this month--The Zookeeper's Wife by Diane Ackerman.

First Rule of Book Club

I want to start by giving a shout-out to my book club that met for our monthly discussion today. Great home, great lunch, outstanding conversation. And I want to give a special shout out to our resident theologian in the group, who happens to be male, and, who did not appreciate that last month I gave a shout out to the girls in the book group. So here's to our resident theologian...and the goodness of book clubs.

The best part of our book club? The first rule of the Book club: you don't have to read the book.

Simplicity. Clarity. Singleness.

“Simplicity, clarity, singleness: These are the attributes that give our lives power and vividness and joy as they are also the marks of great art. They seem to be the purpose of God for his whole creation.” -- Richard Holloway, retired Bishop of Edinburg.

I'm physically feeling better each day, kinda like the first day after having the flu. You still don't feel well, but at least you know you don't feel as bad as the day before. It makes all these changes in life a little more enjoyable.

God blessed me way more than I deserve today and that's my word for the end of today: gratitude. And my prayer for today is that God grant me simplicity, clarity and singleness. What a great mantra to say each morning: Simplicity, Clarity and Singleness. (Just to clarify and put my husband at ease in case he reads this blog, I believe he is saying singleness in focus and not in reference to relationships.)

It's hard to gain clarity. My attention can be distracted by the internet, email, cell phone, television, newspaper...and yet what I feel called to might be reading some Scripture but it's so hard to turn all those things off and turn on the Scripture. Gaining clarity helps me to make this choice and pray for the strength to continue in God's creative flow.

My prayer of recent weeks has been for UrbanLife. I really would like for God to say (in a deep, booming voice), "Here it is Kathryn...the keys to UrbanLife." What I know in my heart is that it's going to take some trial and error and that this is the way God would have it...and that God is in this trial and error. The key is the trial and error, and, in seeking clarity everyday for this vital ministry. I wish I had this ministry for me when I was in my 20s. You make so many decisions in your 20s and 30s and for that to be the time in most people's lives when they are disconnected from a faith community is a huge loss for this world and for the Kingdom.

Simplicity, Clarity and Singleness....my prayer for today.

Big News in the Ransdell Family

"The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with Nature." -- Joseph Campbell

The Ransdell Family is growing and Sarah the Dog is looking forward to being a big sister in 2008! We are expecting. We heard the heartbeat today and decided it is time to share the news with the world.

Some of you who read my blog regularly noticed that I dropped off the face of the blogworld in September. I was very sick the month of September. There was not one brain cell left to write at the end of the day. It was a very challenging month for me. If someone told me on Sept. 1 that I would feel like I had the flu the entire month, then I could have created a plan B. Instead, I woke up day-after-day with headaches, nausea, vomiting...all the fun things. My social calendar became non-existent and my life became about making it through each day at work.

September was a huge month for UrbanLife. Just at the time when I needed to be at my best, I felt at my worst physically. There was so much I wanted to do and yet could not do. God was so gracious during the month. Just at the end of the month when I was really struggling with God's timing and wondering what effect this would have on UrbanLife's October launch, I received an email from a person who had heard about UrbanLife through a friend of a friend and wanted to get involved.

This was a good reminder for me that this is about God, and not about me, and at some point I have to accept my limitations and be open to God's infinite possibilities. It has also been a good reminder to me that UrbanLife is a long-term project and what matters is that we make consistent, steady gains in the ministry. October won't make-or-break the ministry and the people who need the ministry will find their way here.

Troy and I are so thrilled. It was an incredible moment today to hear that heartbeat and know that creation is unfolding before our eyes. I'm slowly getting my energy back and soon hope the nausea begins to fade away. As my midwife said today, all this sickness takes on a whole new meaning when you hear that beating heart.

I'm not sure I quite believe her...yet.

What it is all about

Today was a great day and the Blessing of the Animals was a wonderful event for UrbanLife and First Church. There are many stories to tell and this is the one I choose for you tonight.
The first person in my line to have her pet blessed was a small-frame woman carrying her very old and very sick small dog, probably a Chihuahua mix. I wish I knew this woman's name; I'm not even sure if she is a member of First Church or a visitor to the park that day.
I knew that this pet was not long for this world. After I gave the pet a blessing, she began to cry. I wrapped my arm around her when she whispered that she has to put her dog down in the morning. I wanted to scoop her aside and pray for her and her dog but the press of the line behind her and her own sensitivity wanting her privacy quickly ushered her out of my presence.
I did not see her again. Somehow in the Universe's amazing ways, I hope this message gets to her. This is from the poem, The Rainbow Bridge.

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal
dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow
Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can
run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our
friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are
restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and
strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss
someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play
together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance.
His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run
from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and
faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally
meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy
kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you
look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life
but never absent from your heart. Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown...

What a Great Blessing of the Animals!

Secure Dream?

I'm reading The Zookeeper's Wife by Diane Ackerman. It is the second book in the past 3 months that have made me consider how easy we have it here in the United States. The other book was 1,000 Splendid Suns, the follow-up to The Kite Runner.
The Zookeeper's Wife is set in Poland and the story begins as Germany prepares to invade Poland. 1,000 Splendid Suns is set in Afghanistan's tumultuous past at the time that the extremist government tore down the huge Buddha statues carved in the side of the cliff. Both are stories of countries that root themselves in conflict and war and both are stories of a new generation about to experience for the first time how war steals the average-ness of life.
Thank God I have not experienced this in my life. Every so often, though, I wonder what it would be like, how our America would be different, if we did not expect tomorrow to be the same as today. If we had enough pressure behind us to push us forward to be even more resourceful, even more prayerful, and even more connected to one another. As it is right now, for the most part, all I need in my life is me. I don't ever expect to need my neighbor to feed me dinner because my pantry is empty.
Of course, this comes from a middle-class, privileged-class perspective because for some in America, this is the reality of their life. There are some people who really do need someone to feed them dinner or provide them shelter.
When I read the paper this morning, I must admit I lost this perspective. The pastor of First Presbyterian Dallas, in response to a Dallas program that sweeps-up homeless at night on the streets, has made his parking lot a Sanctuary, in the classic understanding of those in the middle ages, when fleeing a military foe, knock on the doors of a giant Gothic cathedral and yell the words "Sanctuary," announcing to the world that they are safe. His church has taken a stand to protect homeless people who don't want to be scooped up and put in treatment or a shelter and he now allows them to make camp each night in his parking lot. He provides a security guard and a power-washer, which some of the homeless help by spraying down the lot each day.
When I read the article, my first thought was how that might affect perspective visitors and their perceived sense of safety when visiting the church. Shame on me.
That's what happens when you live each day feeling as if tomorrow is guaranteed, almost as if there is some giant FDIC in the sky that protects the safety of my little world that I have worked so hard to construct and wish to all my heart that it never has to face the real challenges of life that people all over the world will endure today and tomorrow.

Eat. Pray. Love.

I loved the book Eat Pray Love. I loved it before I read it because my beloved yoga teachers, Michelle and Madelaine, said it was a beautiful book. And they were right. I read the book during my trip to China last March.
As I read the book, I kept comparing her story to mine. Being the neurotic girl that I am, I judged her soul-searching experience as better than mine. But it was on my trip to China, when I realized that the world was a lot bigger than this Wichita Falls-girl ever imagined, I gave myself permission to be me and to let my experience be the healing experience that was for my highest good. (If only I had written a memoir of the last 5 years...then maybe I would have that best-seller too!)
I love the book even more after watching Jennifer Gilbert on Oprah today. She said something very wise: you don't have to go across the world to find yourself and to find God...you can do this wherever you are if you are willing to sit still, ask the deeper questions, and seek peace. It just seems like this is the path every human being needs to take...to sit still, ask deeper questions and seek peace. It's a noisy world that prefers we stay on the surface and seeks to chip away our contentment and replace it with feelings that we are less than.
Here's to embracing a different way of life, and, as my dear friend Margaret Ann taught me, here's to being, "AS IS."

Will he win?

It's 7:20 pm on Tuesday evening as I'm writing this blog post. That's important, because in 40 minutes I will find out if Cuban wins. See, I was home last week when Dancing with the Stars premiered and I got hooked. After one show, I feel tightly entwined with these famous people's lives to see if they win or not.

I had decided last week that I wasn't going to pull for Mark. I'm not sure on what basis except that I've often had to run on the treadmill at the gym while he sweats it out on the bike in front of me. That shouldn't be a reason not to cheer for the guy. But then last night, something changed and now I want him to win. He should at least beat Wayne Newton who looks like he might melt if he got too close to an open flame. It looks like the tipping point between Mark and Wayne, both at the bottom of the professional score, will be the public opinion poll taken last night by text, internet or phone. I came close to voting last night but I am a Verizon-girl, not AT&T, the official wireless company for Dancing with the Stars.

This past month has been interesting for me. Some changes (good changes--no need to call and check on me) have slowed me down and allowed me more time to partake in public entertainment, like television. It's been at least 2-3 years since I've watched prime time television so I kinda like knowing what the season premieres are this year and hurrying home (as if I have something important to do) to see who gets cut from this week's dance crowd.

So I may be watching a little more television, but it hasn't won me over yet. I still see such a major disconnect from how shows portray American life and how most people live. And the result of that disconnect is discontentment and that discontentment looks different in every person's life--but as a society, it tells us we are not enough -- that we need to be skinnier, pretty, funnier, hip-per, flashier and need to have more "dirty, sexy money." (the new ABC show).

I seek contentment and if I could find a television show that offered me contentment, then I would be a faithful fan. Until then, I'm content with waiting to find out if Cuban stays or goes.