A girl might change her mind

Since falling in love with the first nursery theme, Wabi Sabi, I found another Oriental theme by the same designer--this is called Sticky Rice. I think I like the deeper red and creme color scheme better than the rust and white of the other pattern. So, this is our theme, officially!

I think I've got my nursery theme!

Troy and I want to be surprised on the day the baby is born with the gender of the child. This is not the choice either of our parents want us to make. But there are so few real surprises in this world, and we want this to be a surprise for us when the child is born.

This decision makes some things more difficult. Grandparents have to work harder to find gender-neutral colors. And we had to become creative as to the nursery theme.

I had already decided I didn't want to buy into the consumeristic Disney narrative for my child's bedding nor did I want a pastel color scheme. After a friend told me that babies primarily see the colors red, black and white, I had a brainstorm--I would have an oriental theme nursery.

I was so excited by my idea and I had one friend, as well as my husband, think it was a good idea. From others, I would get a reply like, "Well, that will be 'interesting'." I could hear the hesitation in their voices. I searched long and hard on the Internet for oriental baby bedding/nursery themes and up until today found only two ideas that I really didn't like.

Then, I found Wabi Sabi by Glenna Jean. And I love it. I love the colors, the incorporation of the bamboo, and the different textures on the quilt. And, I love the mobile--little brown bears wearing skirts made out of the bamboo pattern. I also like the design idea in the picture above, incorporating oriental lamps. Since we plan to move sooner than later, we decided we didn't want to paint the walls so the red paint isn't possible--but there are some other ways to incorporate that color.

Of course, I haven't considered the cost and whether it is in our budget, all I know is this is what I have envisioned my nursery/study to look like.

I'm glad to know that I'm not strange to have an Oriental theme for our nursery--that someone else in the world has thought about it also! Check out the other pieces in the theme at http://www.babysupermall.com/main/products/glj/glj38240.html

Nursery themes are definately for the priveleged and I must confess that I struggle with the stewardship perspective of having a nursery theme when there are people out there who have nothing.

A final note to November

Just wanted to add a "PS" to my November blog entries -- today starts the beginning of my 19th week! Almost half-way there!

Craigslist frustrations

I'm trying to sell a piece of furniture on Craig's list, my 3rd time to do this. The first 2 times were SO easy. Within 48 hours, both pieces were sold, paid for with cash and picked up by its new owner. This time has not been easy. I've had 2 people bargain for the item over email, both people came to a price they accepted, and then both flaked on me when it came time to pick up the item. One woman told me she would call on a Saturday and left me hanging all day long. At least this second person never committed to a time and date when he would pick up the item.
That's frustrating to me. Say what you mean and mean what you say. The world would be a lot nicer if we lived by this motto.

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Kathryn Ruth

As my newly discovered second cousin sends more photos of my mom's side of the family, I find myself without words looking at snapshots of time and places and faces that are so foreign to me and yet they are genetically a part of me. These people are part of my cellular structure. I never knew my maternal grandmother, Kathryn Ruth Varner Simonds. She died in 1970, 5 years before I was born. I carry her name...My full name is Kathryn Ruth.

This is a picture of her at the home of my great-grandparents, Mr. and Mrs. Simonds (my grandfather's parents which would make this her in-laws house). On the porch is my mom. My great-grandparents lived in Carrollton, Illinois. I never knew that, but then again, there's lots of things I never knew about my family.

I wish this photo could talk. I wonder what this woman would say to me, the person who carried on her name. She has been such a dominant and driving force in my life even though she died 5 years before I was born. But it was her life, and her death, that has shaped my life for better and for worse. I am learning karmic lessons from this story that doesn't end with physical death. When I was a teenager, I had this vision in the middle of the night and I know that my grandmother came and talked with me about all kinds of life things. It is a vision that has comforted and supported me for many years.

A few years ago, at the home of my grandmother's sister, I learned some interesting stories about my grandmother, including her short love affair with a French fighter pilot preceding World War II. She met him when she was the librarian at Weatherford College. And it explains why in the Weatherford College yearbooks, the name Kathryn Fauviere was listed beneath her picture. What a woman to fall in love with a French fighter pilot. I only got to hear that story once that day, and no one else in the family will talk about it.

I wonder what this woman in the foreground would say to me today, an expectant mother. I wonder about this woman in the background...my mother.

Baby Bump!

I'm watching the finale of Dancing with the Stars as I type this blog entry. I think Helio will win although I wish Mel B. would win. Although Marie is a great entertainer, she has not made the progress either of these two have made in their dancing.

18 weeks ago, I did not watch tv. I might catch a movie or watch The Simpsons or Family Guy with Troy every so often. I mostly read books in the evening and enjoyed that quiet time. Then, this little thing called Morning Sickness hit and I could barely get myself off the sofa. My first night of mindless tv watching was the first night of this season's Dancing with the Stars. Although my opinion of tv has not changed (I still think it is not the most wise use of time), I'm thankful for its company while struggling to make it through each day.

But it's a little bittersweet tonight that the season is ending. Their dance steps are just ending. For me, though, it's all just beginning. In the past 48 hours, I've gone from looking like I've had one too many late night snacks to looking like I'm pregnant! And, I think I felt the first flutters earlier today!

So good luck to those stars...and I'm excited about the star that is coming into this world to be a part of our lives.

Family Photo

I got an email this week from a cousin of my mother's--the last time their families saw each other was around 1960. She sent this photo of my grandfather (center) his sister and brother (to his right) and his parents (to his left). She also shared stories about her side of the family as well as stories about her parents and my great-grandparents. I love finding family members like her, people who are interested in the story and can tell the story without judgement. In other words, she can talk truthfully about the good and the bad in the family.

Every family has good and bad. It is the opportunity offered by the holidays to celebrate the good, accept the bad, and realize the line between the two is more thin than you might want to think.

The timing of the contact from my second cousin was God-inspired. The month of November, as the pregnancy became more real (almost 18 weeks now!) , I've been internally contemplating what it means to be a parent and how I will know what "to do" as a mother. When talking with my brother about it last night, he encouraged me to look forward to every moment and then the details will somehow fall into place.

A Controversial Vote

Just returned from my local polling place. I exercised my constitutional right to vote. It is a privilege that we take way too lightly here in the United States. It's what separates us from places like, well, um, Iran. When I see pictures of women in other countries wearing burkas, I realize that what separates me from them is my right to vote, even if I am only voting for propositions that I'm not really sure what all they involve. (Of course, the assumption is that they would rather not be wearing the burka. There are days when a burka would be a welcome relief--takes care of bad hair days and fat days.)
At 2:35 pm, I was the 147th person to vote at my precinct polling place. It was a tough moment at the ballot box, as a citizen of Texas and a citizen of Dallas, trying hard to determine what is the best decision both for Texas and Dallas on this controversial issue. I really 'sweated' it out, weighing the arguments in my head one more time. Then I finally made the call. And, I confess, I voted FOR the proposition....Proposition 10 that is....that removes references to the outdated Office of Hides and Animals in the Texas Constitution.
"The Inspector of Hides and Animals is an office created in 1871. This county officer was charged with inspecting certain hides and animals for sale or slaughter. Only some counties had an elected Inspector of Hides and Animals and by the 1990s this office was virtually non-existent through the state. By actions of the Texas Legislature in 2003 and 2006 the office was effectively abolished." (Source: Analyses of Proposed Constitutional Amendments, November 6, 2007, Election, Texas Legislative Council, September 2007)
Citizens of Dallas and Texas can sleep well tonight knowing that ALL references to the Office of Hides and Animals will no longer be included in the Texas Constitution.

After you hit the wall

Pregnancy was not agreeing with me last week, which is why I didn't blog. I was thinking I turned a corner, only to find the new street contained large progesterone potholes, might have even been sinkholes.

Sunday was particularly rough...sick all day and I was frustrated by this continuing sickness...I had an important 2008 planning meeting with the UrbanLife Leadership Team and it took all I had just to get out of bed and back up to the church. On the way home last night, I knew I had hit the wall. To be cliche, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Troy listened to my litany of ailments and he even let me cry without trying to fix-it and make it better. After an hour or so, he suggested the best prescription might be sleep. And he reminded me that it's okay to hit a wall as long as you get up the next day and pick yourself up and find a new path.

I was really thankful for those words of wisdom this morning (not necessarily last night), and, I'm thankful for my doctor who heard my frustration in my voice this morning and proposed a new plan for pregnancy-symptom management. I felt the best today than I have felt in a longtime so I hope the medications started today continue to work their magic.

So when you hit a wall, it's okay. Just don't forget to pick yourself up and find a new path.