Ethan and I went to Target today. It wasn't a trip of necessity for commodities; it was more a necessity to see other living human beings in this world and just to see if I could accomplish what used to be a mindless task and now is a master skill.
After getting Ethan ready, I dashed in the bathroom, threw my hair in a ponytail, painted on a fresh coat of deodorant and changed my shirt to a less dirty shirt. And we were out the door. I felt such a high feeling of accomplishment driving to the store. I made it into the car with Ethan--he wasn't even crying. And I didn't smell too bad and only had two stains on my pants and one on my shirt.
Something about the way my body smelled and felt seemed very similar to another time in life...and that's when it hit me: the smell and look of early motherhood is very similar to the smell and look of mission trips. If you have ever been on a mission trip, you know the feeling--you haven't showered in 2 days, you've slept on a sleeping bag on a gym floor with 40 other people of which 25% snore, you're wearing the same pair of jeans from yesterday and the definition of a shower is a fresh coat of deodorant. And you know what, it's all okay to smell and look like that when you are on a mission trip. And what I've learned is that it's all okay to smell and look like this when you have a 5-week-old-little boy.
So maybe I'm not out building a house or repairing a roof or teaching the Bible to children in rural villages--but I still have a big mission and at this point, it's about perseverance and faith that the little acts of love I do today (while being a little smelly) will make a big difference in Ethan's tomorrow.
