Big News in the Ransdell Family

"The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with Nature." -- Joseph Campbell

The Ransdell Family is growing and Sarah the Dog is looking forward to being a big sister in 2008! We are expecting. We heard the heartbeat today and decided it is time to share the news with the world.

Some of you who read my blog regularly noticed that I dropped off the face of the blogworld in September. I was very sick the month of September. There was not one brain cell left to write at the end of the day. It was a very challenging month for me. If someone told me on Sept. 1 that I would feel like I had the flu the entire month, then I could have created a plan B. Instead, I woke up day-after-day with headaches, nausea, vomiting...all the fun things. My social calendar became non-existent and my life became about making it through each day at work.

September was a huge month for UrbanLife. Just at the time when I needed to be at my best, I felt at my worst physically. There was so much I wanted to do and yet could not do. God was so gracious during the month. Just at the end of the month when I was really struggling with God's timing and wondering what effect this would have on UrbanLife's October launch, I received an email from a person who had heard about UrbanLife through a friend of a friend and wanted to get involved.

This was a good reminder for me that this is about God, and not about me, and at some point I have to accept my limitations and be open to God's infinite possibilities. It has also been a good reminder to me that UrbanLife is a long-term project and what matters is that we make consistent, steady gains in the ministry. October won't make-or-break the ministry and the people who need the ministry will find their way here.

Troy and I are so thrilled. It was an incredible moment today to hear that heartbeat and know that creation is unfolding before our eyes. I'm slowly getting my energy back and soon hope the nausea begins to fade away. As my midwife said today, all this sickness takes on a whole new meaning when you hear that beating heart.

I'm not sure I quite believe her...yet.

What it is all about

Today was a great day and the Blessing of the Animals was a wonderful event for UrbanLife and First Church. There are many stories to tell and this is the one I choose for you tonight.
The first person in my line to have her pet blessed was a small-frame woman carrying her very old and very sick small dog, probably a Chihuahua mix. I wish I knew this woman's name; I'm not even sure if she is a member of First Church or a visitor to the park that day.
I knew that this pet was not long for this world. After I gave the pet a blessing, she began to cry. I wrapped my arm around her when she whispered that she has to put her dog down in the morning. I wanted to scoop her aside and pray for her and her dog but the press of the line behind her and her own sensitivity wanting her privacy quickly ushered her out of my presence.
I did not see her again. Somehow in the Universe's amazing ways, I hope this message gets to her. This is from the poem, The Rainbow Bridge.

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal
dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow
Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can
run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our
friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are
restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and
strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss
someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play
together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance.
His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run
from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and
faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally
meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy
kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you
look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life
but never absent from your heart. Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown...

What a Great Blessing of the Animals!

Secure Dream?

I'm reading The Zookeeper's Wife by Diane Ackerman. It is the second book in the past 3 months that have made me consider how easy we have it here in the United States. The other book was 1,000 Splendid Suns, the follow-up to The Kite Runner.
The Zookeeper's Wife is set in Poland and the story begins as Germany prepares to invade Poland. 1,000 Splendid Suns is set in Afghanistan's tumultuous past at the time that the extremist government tore down the huge Buddha statues carved in the side of the cliff. Both are stories of countries that root themselves in conflict and war and both are stories of a new generation about to experience for the first time how war steals the average-ness of life.
Thank God I have not experienced this in my life. Every so often, though, I wonder what it would be like, how our America would be different, if we did not expect tomorrow to be the same as today. If we had enough pressure behind us to push us forward to be even more resourceful, even more prayerful, and even more connected to one another. As it is right now, for the most part, all I need in my life is me. I don't ever expect to need my neighbor to feed me dinner because my pantry is empty.
Of course, this comes from a middle-class, privileged-class perspective because for some in America, this is the reality of their life. There are some people who really do need someone to feed them dinner or provide them shelter.
When I read the paper this morning, I must admit I lost this perspective. The pastor of First Presbyterian Dallas, in response to a Dallas program that sweeps-up homeless at night on the streets, has made his parking lot a Sanctuary, in the classic understanding of those in the middle ages, when fleeing a military foe, knock on the doors of a giant Gothic cathedral and yell the words "Sanctuary," announcing to the world that they are safe. His church has taken a stand to protect homeless people who don't want to be scooped up and put in treatment or a shelter and he now allows them to make camp each night in his parking lot. He provides a security guard and a power-washer, which some of the homeless help by spraying down the lot each day.
When I read the article, my first thought was how that might affect perspective visitors and their perceived sense of safety when visiting the church. Shame on me.
That's what happens when you live each day feeling as if tomorrow is guaranteed, almost as if there is some giant FDIC in the sky that protects the safety of my little world that I have worked so hard to construct and wish to all my heart that it never has to face the real challenges of life that people all over the world will endure today and tomorrow.

Eat. Pray. Love.

I loved the book Eat Pray Love. I loved it before I read it because my beloved yoga teachers, Michelle and Madelaine, said it was a beautiful book. And they were right. I read the book during my trip to China last March.
As I read the book, I kept comparing her story to mine. Being the neurotic girl that I am, I judged her soul-searching experience as better than mine. But it was on my trip to China, when I realized that the world was a lot bigger than this Wichita Falls-girl ever imagined, I gave myself permission to be me and to let my experience be the healing experience that was for my highest good. (If only I had written a memoir of the last 5 years...then maybe I would have that best-seller too!)
I love the book even more after watching Jennifer Gilbert on Oprah today. She said something very wise: you don't have to go across the world to find yourself and to find God...you can do this wherever you are if you are willing to sit still, ask the deeper questions, and seek peace. It just seems like this is the path every human being needs to take...to sit still, ask deeper questions and seek peace. It's a noisy world that prefers we stay on the surface and seeks to chip away our contentment and replace it with feelings that we are less than.
Here's to embracing a different way of life, and, as my dear friend Margaret Ann taught me, here's to being, "AS IS."

Will he win?

It's 7:20 pm on Tuesday evening as I'm writing this blog post. That's important, because in 40 minutes I will find out if Cuban wins. See, I was home last week when Dancing with the Stars premiered and I got hooked. After one show, I feel tightly entwined with these famous people's lives to see if they win or not.

I had decided last week that I wasn't going to pull for Mark. I'm not sure on what basis except that I've often had to run on the treadmill at the gym while he sweats it out on the bike in front of me. That shouldn't be a reason not to cheer for the guy. But then last night, something changed and now I want him to win. He should at least beat Wayne Newton who looks like he might melt if he got too close to an open flame. It looks like the tipping point between Mark and Wayne, both at the bottom of the professional score, will be the public opinion poll taken last night by text, internet or phone. I came close to voting last night but I am a Verizon-girl, not AT&T, the official wireless company for Dancing with the Stars.

This past month has been interesting for me. Some changes (good changes--no need to call and check on me) have slowed me down and allowed me more time to partake in public entertainment, like television. It's been at least 2-3 years since I've watched prime time television so I kinda like knowing what the season premieres are this year and hurrying home (as if I have something important to do) to see who gets cut from this week's dance crowd.

So I may be watching a little more television, but it hasn't won me over yet. I still see such a major disconnect from how shows portray American life and how most people live. And the result of that disconnect is discontentment and that discontentment looks different in every person's life--but as a society, it tells us we are not enough -- that we need to be skinnier, pretty, funnier, hip-per, flashier and need to have more "dirty, sexy money." (the new ABC show).

I seek contentment and if I could find a television show that offered me contentment, then I would be a faithful fan. Until then, I'm content with waiting to find out if Cuban stays or goes.

9 years and counting

I knew a couple of days had passed since my last blog entry; didn't realize it had been 21 days. After two of my faithful readers expressed their personal concern for me and my absence from my beloved blog, I decided it was time to pick up the pen, or type on the keyboard, to let you know that I am alive and well.
It's been a busy month as we move towards launching UrbanLife. Our goal is to build community and deepen spirituality among young urban professionals and we have several different ways to meet this goal. One way is through our fall classes that will begin in October. We are kicking-off our classes with a community-wide Blessing of the Animals event on Sun., Oct. 7, in Reverchon Park.
With the big event less than three weeks away, it feels a little like when you've planned a party and now are waiting to see if people come. And with things like ministry, it's not just about your strategy or how well it is executed; it's also about God. It's about trusting God, and, being able to ask at every moment of the process--what is God teaching me, my leadership team, and this church about what it means to make disciples of Jesus Christ?
This month I have experienced a deeper relationship with God as I have realized my need to draw close and rely on God's strength versus my own finite self. It has been humbling, and yet in that humbleness, I have felt God's guiding presence. I'm really thankful. And I'm so excited to see what's going to happen in October with UrbanLife as we open the doors and welcome people to the ministry.
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On a separate note, I want to give a quick shot-out to my girls in our "A Little Deeper Book Club." We started our 9th year today, reviewing Jodi Picoult's book, "Nineteen Minutes." It was so good to see everyone after our annual summer break. The idea for this book club came during my second year in seminary, Fall 1997, when Stanley Hauerwas told us as part of Christian Ethics, "It's not what you read in seminary that matters, it's THAT you read when you get out of seminary." There's no better way to keep reading than to join a book club and discuss good books with other people.